8 Replies
Personally, I do not think that you are being selfish. On the contrary, I thought that is very logical and responsible thinking. To me, if having another child may mean that you will need to put in longer hours at work to make ends meet, then the tradeoff would be too high in my opinion. There will be pro and cons to being a single child, as well as having siblings. It is a matter of how to ensure that one could provide the best for the child/children. It is also the preference of the parents to decide how many children to have. I would say that if you and your wife do prefer to have more than one children, it is also possible to take a look at the household and family expenses. See what adjustments could be made to accommodate another child. It may mean that one would need to cut back on some "luxuries" and have fewer indulgences, but it could be done. Ultimately, I feel, it is the couple's decision as to how big you would prefer your family to be. Just some of my thoughts. :)
It is definitely not selfish for you to have only 1 child. There are benefits for having siblings too. That being said it would be more sensible to be realistic whether you can manage another child. On the long run if you have another child out of guilt, it wouldn't be healthy. If you do feel bad, perhaps spending quality time, doing activities will help you realise the benefits of having a single child too. You will have more, time, money, love, patience. Everything will not be required to share even yourself. Children won't know much, we know best. And we can do our best for them. Good luck Harry!
I think most people will prefer to be the only child, as they get to have full attention. Actually having 1 child stop you thinking from, if i send no1 to piano lesson, no2 should also be given a chance to learn. But i wan no1 go dance class too, than no2 should also given a chance to go too, it's like 1.2k suddenly for 2 kids.. Than still got swimming, phonics etc. than how? Having 1 kid, have 1 kid benefit while having 2, if we are not rich people, than stuck at this Qs. Most people let no1 do many things, but not no2, cause expenses is higher than during no1 time.
I used to only want one child, until my second pregnancy comes along like a surprise recently! Honestly, my family is not very well off but we are shifting things around to prepare ourselves for the second baby. I dont think you’re being selfish, in fact very responsible and logical. However, i think youll have to speak to your wife in depth with regards to one or two kids! cheers
Why not take it one step at a time and relieve yourself of the constant burden. Bringing up a child does require a fair bit of $ and when you and your spouse are seriously thinking of having the 2nd or 3rd, take stock of your finances and see if it works out. Certain investments (books, toys, backpacks, stroller, clothing, milk bottles etc....) can pass on to the next child.
You think is normal, because we have a relatively high standard of living. Totally agree must have good financial to have more children, but also depend how you balance it. One child really not enough and only child will feel lonely and spoil by family. Best to have saving and good planing before have anther one child, so that you would fell stress and get prepare.
Definitely not selfish, Daddy. U r just being realistic. Yes, of cod gaving many children will bring joy to the family but that us if your finances allows it else it would b quite tedious. The child may feel lonely at times and this is where the parents must come into the picture.
Don't think you are being selfish. Instead I think you are being responsible and selfless. You want the best for your child :)