Opinions? I have to act fast :(

My parents wants to take care of my first child forever and asked me to focus on my second child. I got pregnant with my first child when I was 20, I got married to the father after she turns 6 months old and I conceived another child within 3 months after marriage. My parents told me that I should focus on the "legally married" child and they want to take the full custody of my first child because they do not have a child together (My mom remarried, no child after more than 10 years) My mom really love my first child, I can really see that. She once told me that my first child reminds her of me when I was little. I am moving out in a few days, taking our house keys in 2 days time. They told me that I should leave my first child to them and bring my second child instead but my best friend told me not to because when the child grew up, she will be thinking that I didn't care about her or that I didn't want her. How? I love my children equally but I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling. Right now it's either they will be hurt if I declined the offer or I will end up getting hurt not to be able to have the bonding between a mother and daughter forever?

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Is unfair for the 1st child. Whether is it a legally married child or before married child they still fall under your children. This can’t be changed. If the child grow up in future and know about this.. how would they feel? You’re the parent and this can’t be changed and no one can. Beside thinking for your parents you need to think for your child, yourself, your husband and your husband family. You need to speak out to your mum to explain. As a mother she will and need to understand your position and Shd not make you in a dilemma. We can’t tell you what to do.. but we can only weigh out what you need to think for beside your mother. Hopefully everything turns out well for u.

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perhaps tells your mum you will bring your eldest child to your home during your off day if you are working or 2 days per week with you so that you can spend some time with her. If you are a Muslim, please note your eldest child is not considered as a legitimate child of your husband since she was born before you and your husband are legally married. You may want to check with MUIS. If so, your husband may want to consider to nominate some or whole of his CPF monies to her.

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you're the mother of your child, you make the right decision and best decision for them

take care of both if you can manage?