MIL or infant care?

Right from the beginning, my MIL said that she don’t want to take care of my baby. Reason is that she was tired taking care of my SIL’s kid and she don’t want to lose her freedom/wants to go for holidays. She even told me and my hubby to have only 1 kid cos it’s a lot of hard work taking care of a baby/kid. Now that my maternity leave is ending and I have already looked for an infant care centre and put a deposit, my MIL suddenly said that she wants to take care of my baby until he turns 18 months then put in childcare. Should I take up her offer or still stick to infant care? TBH I am worried that my baby will fall sick often in infant care. He is also very active. But I am worried that my MIL will change her mind again. She is also taking care of my SIL’s kid (He falls sick often too.) Confused mummy here. What should I do?

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Super Mum

I would stick to infant care, especially since your MIL is going to travel. A lot of the centres have stepped up on hygiene practices and they’re not allowed to be there if they travelled to high risk countries. If your MIL won’t intentionally wash hands before touching baby, then the risk of spreading germs is higher. Also, changing her mind is a scary thing. She could then blame you for taking her freedom away again. And if the way she takes care of baby is different from what you want, she might say that she’s making a big sacrifice and yet you’re ungrateful. Worse still, she may say she doesn’t want to take care of baby anymore, and you’re stuck without a place at infant care.

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VIP Member

In your case, i think Infant care would be better. On days when u need MIL to help, e.g. baby falls sick, school closure, then activate MIL to help. While it is a generous offer for her to want to help, it is very very tiring for the old folks to take care of newborn throughout the day on a regular basis. Plus she sounds like a very active and social person, she might end up resenting that she is cooped up caring for baby all day. Grandparents have done their parenting duty to our generation already, anything more is a bonus.

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Since your MIL has turned you down before, it means that she may just raise the flag suddenly one day. Not only that, she will have the upper hand on you, if shes not happy, she can bring up the child as a threat. So I think it is better to send to infant care. If the infant care is closed and the child cant attend infant care due to sickness then send to your MIL as an alternative. I am sure the hygiene in infant care is much better than our own homes. They mop, sanitize everyday which we dont.

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Infant care. Your mil sounds problematic to be honest 😣and there are bound to be conflicts when mil take care, like me now. Cant agree with the way she takes care and the things she say to my baby. People say babies can learn better and have fun at infant care. Although they sure will fall sick more..

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2y ago

yeah.. me too. i doesnt like the way she handle n she is so stubborn

Infant care better to avoid future conflicts. Now she say she can help take care but confirm in the long run will come conflicts. You mention she also taking care of another grandchild right? It will be even more tiring for her.

better to send to infant care to avoid conflict with ur MIL. Initially i thought to let my MIL handle my newborn too but after that im so regret to do that. She got her own prefer methods n styles which sometimes u may not like it.

Infant care to avoid conflicts with MIL. If baby falls sick, can send to her as an alternative. But rather be once a while than depend on her everyday — she may use this against you in the future.

VIP Member

Ifc. I let my mil to take care of my baby until she turns 5 months then only send to ifc. As I think below 5 months is too young and I want my baby at least can roll over before sending to ifc.

VIP Member

If the virus bug doesn't exist, I think you should just sent your baby to infant care. Old people like your mil changes their mind easily. They will complain lot when pain here pain there

Super Mum

I will stick to infant care. I hear cases of my fren where they have to take urgent leave frequently coz their mil “can’t” take take of the bb last minute. It’s very disrupting