Biased or normal behaviour of MIL?

When we first got married, my hubby insisted that we stay near my in-laws who are retired so that they can help take care of our kids in future. My MIL also said that we should stay nearby. But one day, even before I got pregnant, my MIL suddenly said that she don’t want to take dare of my kids because she is tired and wants her “freedom”. But she was ok taking care of her daughter’s kids aka my sister in law’s kids. Even when my kids are sick now, my MIL also never offered to help out or do anything. My own mother who is still working had to take leave to help me out. Is it true that a daughter in law will never match up to a daughter? Feeling so tired and disheartened...

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My MIL never had a daughter but she kept comparing myself with her other daughter-in-law. It’s really tiring emotionally especially that I live with her. A lot of things she say she’ll do but her words don’t match with her actions. When I’m not happy with what she’s doing, I usually just tell my husband to do the talking, cause I can be very mean if I were to confront my MIL instead 😅 There had been many times that me & husband got into an argument because of my MIL too.. But as long you still got your own family to support you to keep you sane, you’ll survive through the day :)

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3y ago

I'm in the exact same boat as u! even after 3yrs living together, my husband and I still get into fights because of his parents...

Yeah. My mil was the one who kept asking me to give birth cause she's 60+ and not yet a grandma. and said all sorts of sad things to guilt trick me indirectly. I moved near her house as she mentioned after i give birth she will tc my kid and all. turns out.... once i got pregnant, she seem to not be happy about it. she also said things like she cant tc my kid cause it restricts her freedom etc.. I was so angry and betrayed. But luckily my mom can help me when i needed help. So... own mother better. lol

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the fact is a daughter will never be the same as a daughter in law. we can't change this fact. honestly, if they don't want to takecare of your kids then no point staying near them anyway. but im sure one day if no choice and nobody to look after your kids they will still be willing to help.

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Just ignore and don’t get affected by it. Mind your own things. U just make yourself feel awful, miserable and sorry. Stop wasting your time thinking of “what if’s” or “why’s”. U just focus on your family okay ✅ stop bothering with others dear, really. Focus on yourself.

i think if im in your position i would prefer to not mix too much with the in laws 😅 easier as u dont need to confront them if their parenting style is not the same as yours and its not easy to talk to in laws. if own parents can just scold. if your own mother willing to take care if good!

4y ago

is* and yes better to maintain just a cordial relationship. mixing your kids in "might" also ruin the relationship in the long run if not same thinking. see the positive side!

noo.. my mom loves her Thai daughter in law to the core. until i think its some sorcery. I have 2 kids, big one 3 years old only seen her less than 10 times, young one totally never see before. all because she's afraid her daughter in law will be upset. ridiculous to the core.

Don’t dwell too much into it. You will just make yourself upset only. I’m actually happy if in law don’t take care of my child. In case parenting style clash

it is true. then again, it's also weird if a mother chooses her daughter-in-law over her own daughter. after all, the latter is her own flesh and blood

Yes, only a handful are lucky to have great MIL. But think on the bright side, you still have a mum to help you out.

Yes, that is very common . But there are MILS who care daughter in law as their daughter.