Divorce

Please give me advise.. how to u gain confident to divorce and how u go through.. i think i had enough and don't think that hub will change to a good father at all.. i was out today with my elder to meet friend.. so i came back late.. around 11 i think.. i pump some of my milk, bath then become 12 plus.. so i need to wash and sterilize again my pump.. the girl haven sleep.. so the father carry but still lying on bed.. he sometimes does carry and walk the girl, but not as frequent as us.. so i came in room to see him lying down and place the girl near the edge but inside his arm.. i carry her up then did some thing.. then i go in to see him playing phone again.. so i told him not sleeping.. he say wait for me.. i told him i still have things to do so i wan to ask him carry the girl.. he say he just now carry liao, then i say u have to walk cause if cry will wake the brother up.. he give me face.. then i ask again are u going to help.. he say i help just now what.. i say i got things to do.. he say cannot do tomorrow morning meh.. i say cannot (i sterilize pump and prepare son school day, also he never once did this).. then he say then why come back so late.. do things do 5 hours ah.. then i say i also not every time come back so late.. then he say not meh.. then i say him leh.. he can come back so late i cannot ah.. he say cause work.. he also say come back late on weekends.. i told him weekdays he also meet friend come back late.. even i went out i also bring son go.. not like i go alone.. then he go to sleep.. as if i can be like him, want sleep jiu sleep.. i think i had my last straw le.. should i just kick him off.. honestly, felt like i will be happier if he is gone.. my kids will be better without him.. he never bring kids out alone.. only to downstair.. then last argument i told him i bring the letter to him to divorce.. he say thank u, pls.. i tell him i make sure i show him this few days.. lol.. i don't think i can tolerate him anymore..

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Seems like a very trivial reason to file for divorce but is your provocative to do so. But I doubt you will be happier by yourself because you have to bare the blunt of the upbringing your children regardless how much child support you can squeeze from him. I feel that this can be resolved in counselling, would you consider marriage counselling? There is no domestic abuse nor adultery. If you divorce with 2 children, unlikely your burden will reduce and might even get worst. Then the joker will just go out find another wife and will look more happy than you. He will be weekend dad where your children will love him more than you do with time because he is the cool dad. Divorce will do you more harm than good. I can understand why he said "Thank You".

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I know how you feel, but I'm more fortunate (or unfortunate?) because we have our own house; and that includes housework as well. He tells me he doesn't know how to operate the washing machine; he doesn't know how to iron clothes... When I was pregnant, I was still scrubbing toilet floors. But, it may not necessary be happier if he is gone. There will be other issues, like maybe who gets the kids, who pays for this and that, and blah blah. You could go to a counselor, but I honestly not sure if that could help. Have you tried sitting down and talk to your husband about this? About how stressed and tired you feel and hope he can help? My situation improved after we got a maid. 200% improvement. If you can afford it financially, perhaps you can consider it?

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Firstly it is very common for dads to be jittery around young children. They are not very capable in managing such things. Except for playing with kids. Though your husband should at least attempt. That's what most dads do. Have you tried going for counselling. He may not understand how you really feel. Divorce is not something you would want. It's the last option and if possible not even listed as an option. Please try to go for individual counselling too. In that way there is someone who who can act as a mediator and hopefully be able to advise best.

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I feel that your disatisfaction with him is his amount of child caring and household contribution is minimal. Is there any reason why you married him? Think of the good times before the kids came... Maybe it's too overwhelming to handle both kids and men rarely are proactive in taking care of the kids. At least he tried to carry and soothe your girl, and wait for you to sleep together with him? For contribution wise,have a good talk with him on an amount to give your parents but not toan extend that it will make him pay away most of his salary.

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add ons.. i stay parent house now and he doesnt contribute bills.. except internet which sometimes me or him pay.. school fees currently only one but i ask him to pay too.. giving money to my mom also dont want and my mom look after my 2 kids one.. feels like he is just staying for free.. should be giving money one right or pay bills.. he is foreigner pr but wants to apply citizen in sept.. ask him brush son teeth say dont know.. so what is the point of him being there?

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6y ago

ya.. i vant tolerate anymore.. so i decided to divorce.. and those few days, he always come back late.. or else come back bath and go out again.. makes me feel even more think that leaving him is the best thing to do.. he come back or go out also nv even touch until the kids.. ytd reunion dinner, he was out whole night until noon then come back..

I feel most importantly is to know what you want and dun drag ur misery. Its better to save ur energy to bring up your kids well than to waste it yelling and quarrelling. Afterall you do have your parents helping to look after. Also, after hearing that he is perpetually living off you and your parents, he is again not acting like a responsible husband. Only u know what you want and you to action it. 😊

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Oh dearrrr sounds like both of you, esp you are totally stressed out. I'm sure things must have accumulated which escalated to this. Try and have a good talk with your husband, both of you should just thrash things out asap. Take care and good luck!

Knowing that i have loads of stuff to do back home, I Wun stay out late or even go out. U just gotta involve your Husband more & take care of the kids together. Urs is just small issue. Dun have to divorce. See open la! Give n take will do.

I understand u It might be seem trivial but it must be an accumulation of many such incidents My Husband is also like that Either u change ur mindset or seek a divorce

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