My six year old step daughter does not like our newborn and I have even seen her hit her. how do I tell my husband about it?

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Please understand that telling your husband is not important and not an issue either. The fact is that your girl has become insecure after the coming of the new baby in the home. She is suffering from attention deficiency. She now feels that the new baby has taken away all the love of you two from her. I think, more than your daughter you guys need to correct yourself. I understand that little one needs attention as he is totally dependant on you but understand that your daughter is very observant. She sees that you are not giving her enough time and love and it is all happening because of the new baby. I think at times when you have no choice but to be the little baby, you involve your daughter doing little things with you. While changing diapers, instead of making her sit in the corner, ask her to help you in fetching diapers. Talk to her while you are feeding the baby. Sit with her and read stories to her when the baby is sleeping. Tell her, that when the baby grows up, she will be the one whom the baby will look upto. When going out, make your daughter walk the pram. So, keep you daughter involved. Don't make her feel lonely and alone. Because elders get engaged in doing chores of the little baby not realising that kids around are watching you and vying for your attention. http://www.wikihow.com/Help-Your-Child-Accept-a-New-Baby https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/how-raise-happy-cooperative-child/201204/8-steps-helping-your-older-child-adjust-the-new-baby

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I don't think telling your husband would solve the issue, but you can inform him and not complain so that he too remains vigilante and also think out of ways so that your step daughter can get over the insecurity that she is going through after the arrival of the new baby. I know that little baby requires your attention all the time, but you involve your elder daughter too so that she doesn't feel left out. For example, if you are feeding her, tell her that you are such a sweet big sister and if were not around you wouldn't know how you could look after the little one. Tell her to hold the feeding bottles under your guidance, let her get the little one's diapers. When the little girl is sleeping, you can have your elder daughter be by your side, and read stories for her. Three of you can go together to the park and let her walk the pram. Both your husband and you together will have to be with her and give her more attention so that she feels important. The little one anyway wouldn't know whom you love the most but your step daughter can make up her mind by seeing whom you are attending more to. So, the best way is to involve her in everything that you do for the little one, and keep telling her, that you could not have managed anything without her. https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/blended-family-the-5-secrets-of-effective-stepparenting/

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your stepdaughter is obviously going through a crisis, where she is experiencing insecurity. imagine the situation for her. first, her father gets her a new mother, and then, her father also gets a new baby which means that she is not the only point of attention for him anymore. as a child, it is normal for her to react this way, while as a mother, to both the newborn and to her, it is important for you to be fair to both. try and give a little more love and attention to the step-daughter for now. the newborn is too young to understand this, and the time and bonding you create now, especially as there is a newborn, will help to make things better. if nothing helps, mention to your husband that you think the daughter is a little unhappy or sad about the new baby and you want to make sure things are fine for her. don't mention the hitting bit as of now, as he may feel you are complaining, or worse, he may get angry on her, which can worsen the situation.

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It depends on who the child confides in. If she has been on closer terms with your husband all the while then you should highlight this issue and let your husband talk to her. Since you all are a family now, I believe in practicing transparency. You should solve problems as a family. It could be she's feeling threatened by the presence of the baby or it may even be external factors leading to her actions. She may be experiencing some unhappiness in school but choose to take it out on a baby who can't complain about her.

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While I am not sure what's your relationship with your step daughter, I think raising the issue objectively with your husband will be important. But just raising the matter will not help. I think both of you will need to work it out together with your step daughter as well. Love, care and education.

Please don't mention the hitting bit to your husband as it might irritate him. You can ask him to have a talk with her on the new baby and how it has changed her life. May be you can also go ahead and make her feel comfortable by baking a cake for her and then discussing the new baby with her.

Instead of telling him about the hit, why not try to spend more time with you r child and see how she feels and what she is thinking. As baby is a newborn take this time to prioritise your older child to reassure and let her know that you love her with your actions.

She is just insecure because there is a new baby and she thinks she won’t get attention anymore...just involve her in taking care of the baby then she will adjust 💕

In your regular daily conversation but when no one is around and he is in the right state of mind