Hi all moms, need some advice on toddler and new sibling issue. I just gave birth to a baby girl and is still 10 days, doing confinement now. While in the hospital, my 2yo had been kissing and hugging and wants to carry the new sibling but after i returned home, until now, he's been quite violent towards the baby. I do not know whether is his stubborness or whether if he understands what we say when we told him we love him and meimei. The things he did were, he tried to poke meimei's eyes, he hit her head and pull her hair and tried to push her while the sister is lying on our lap. My mom suffered a number of hit in order to protect the sister. We did use the tactic of saying meimei bought this for u, meimei wants mommy to let you have this cake, but still as usual. Before I gave birth, i will always be there to bring him to and from school but now under confinement, i cant really 'go out' so if i were to bring my son to sch as usual, it's not a very big deal right? And also, breastfeeding the sister but my son still latching until i gave birth. Now got milk le, he drinks from my boob and rejects formula. I also told him 1 side is meimei and 1 side is korkor, but sometimes he insists to drink from the other side, hence, my NB got his flu and cough. I have been rejecting him and scolding him more than usual but if he doesn't try to hit the sister, i wouldn't scold him also. Can advise how to deal with this so called jealousy towards new sibling? TIA.

Hey mummy, I think it sounds like a combination between the "terrible 2" stage and the feeling of being replaced by a sibling. First of all, 2 year olds don't have much concepts over the "proper" way to care for someone else - so all that kissing, hugging and even trying to poke his sister's eyes etc can just be his way of trying to show his affection to his sister! He's also at a stage where he wants to do and explore everything, and do everything on his own - so when people get in the way (like your mum), sometimes we can get hit unintentionally :x Another thing is the "sibling rivalry". Like what some mummies already shared, having your love and attention for 2 years and then suddenly having all of that "taken away" by his sister may make him feel upset - especially when regular routines like bringing him to school is interrupted. His way of trying to get your attention and love back is probably through the bonding of direct latching with you, and he isn't willing to share it with his sister because he might be trying to make a "statement" that "Mummy is mine!". What you could probably try to do is to foster the bond between them, it's gonna take some time - but get him used to being around his sister and teaching him the proper ways he can sayang his little sister. You can also get him involved in caring for his little sister, but only if he wants to - make it a fun and happy experience than having him feel like he's doing chores for his little sister! Other than that, try to set some time to be with him alone too - I know it's hard with a newborn, but simple things like bringing him to school or even just lying down together when his sister is asleep :)

My 2.5yo boy got his lil brother. We showed him videos n pictures of him when he was young n explain to him y didi needs more attention from us. We give in to him more as we understand that he needs time to adapt. Im send n pick up my boy from childcare everyday after 2nd week of my confinement. I try to spend more time w him whenever didi is sleeping or when someone else is ard to help me with didi. There was once he bite didi and i told him off and i "brainwashed" him like, i know u love didi alot but u cannot bite him bcos its hurting him. He feels sorry about it though. My advise is very simple, although ur #1 is a korkor now, but he is just a 2year old child, still a baby. He wont be as mature as we expect him to be. Try to be patience & spend more time w him. It may b tiring for u, but its all worth it when u sees that he is more adapted and calm with his meimei.

I would say put yourself in a child's shoes. Imagine you have all the attention for 2 years and then suddenly the attention is turned towards your little sister. It is a major and sudden change to your son with the new addition at home. This is how your son is feeling. He is only 2 yrs old and he may not understand what you are trying to explain and does not know how to express himself well. It is also not advisable to scold him as he may feel that "mummy doesn't love me anymore." This is where your husband needs to play a part and spend more time with him since you will be busier with the little one. When time permits, your husband should bring your son out (just the two of them) and let them spend time together, so that he doesn't feel left out. It will take months before he start accepting the new family member.

If it was me i will still bring my son to school okay, i dont believe in confinement. Basing it on the situation, i think your older child is having difficulties coping with mei mei and you no longer sending. Him to school. These are changes and can be overwhelming for him. At a young age he is unable to comprehend. Nevertheless, keep explaining it to him and giving him your assurance that he is still loved. Many times kids who act up, are not because they are naughty, rather thatd their way of telling us, something is missing or not met.

I think ur child is acting up because of the new member fighting for attention with him. It's v v normal. Be extra patient. Love him more, reassure him more. I know it's hard caz u are bf baby but if possible try to have some alone time w him even if it is read to him his bed time story or something - some time that is still just u and him only. Have to just slowly educate. U can scold and beat him a little but not too much and u must explain. Otherwise it will just add on to his negativity to baby

2yr old boy still doesn't know much about having another sibling. Give him more time to adapt a new member. He know all e attention will be on his little sister more den him. I had a 4yr old boy n coming 7th months old girl. Till now, my boy will poke his sister, kiss her, n even press her head(top). Try getting ur hubby to send n pick him up from sch. Better to stay home during ur Confinment.

For me I'm also not a believer of confinement so I will still bring my Son to school. Try to get someone to help u attend to ur nb when it is not latching time? So that u can have a little more time with ur boy