honestly.. i have been feeling loveless from my husband recently as he is not the touching type like hugging and kissing.. always i initiate.. and he is always on the phone or his laptop and lying on bed otherwise on massage chair or either sleeping.. which i dont really like it.. feel like he's being lazy throughout the day.. we dont have often family day out to bring kids to play.. when i ask him to go out, he will comment 'u have money meh' or 'if go out who gonna pay'.. we dont have any dates at all either with the same qns throwing to me and i also thought of him playing phone and no topic to talk if we really go on date.. and sex life is so so whereby i missed being licked and fingered and kissing too.. and financial can be a headache and i really hate to discuss money issue with him.. always will end up having bad issue.. so i did thought of divorcing and raising 2 kids myself.. to the point that i actually think that i can be happier without him.. and i feel that i have no love for him anymore.. but this few days, he went back hometown and i pass by the place where i met him for the first time.. i do feel that i missed him and the past came back to me.. and he told me today that he went to do some surgery on his penis for me.. i do feel love towards him.. i do want to salvage and not divorce.. he willing to go counselling but only is free.. can advise where? so, what do u guys think? should i voice out all this to him? but i feel that he also dont bother, how?

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I assumed you are a stay at home mum since money is an issue and your husband questioned you if you have money to go out. It's not easy supporting a family and your husband could be drained from working and need ME time by being alone. Of course, extended periods of isolated time is not healthy and the wife and kids feels neglected too. You are not alone about the sex part too. Ever since I give birth my husband is also used to giving direct sex, no hugging, kissing, arousing like you mentioned. I am always straightforward abt my needs to him but end up we rarely did full set foreplay as well. Not sure is it because we are older, more tired or lack of time... I do missed the times when we are in a more relaxed mood to have sex before baby comes. For outings, there are plenty of free places to enjoy with the kids. There are so many museums that are free of entry, not forgetting public parks where kids can burn off their energy and you can picnic as well. Even if no picnic, there are options like going to Mac nearby or the nearest shopping centre for foodcourt meal. Do not think that kids must go SEA Aquarium or Kids zania or USS. Thats is obviously expensive in the long run... Just to share these couple of days, my husband off from work and we went to Datoka crescent to explore since it's going to be gone. Bring then to explore for old neighbourhood feel and the classic old playground with tire swings. Today we also went for swimming using ActiveSG credit and we had some fun too. These trips are FOC neverthless and we also settle for hawker food and coffee shop food. No recommendations for counselling but great that both of you are willing to work this out :)

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Obviously you both still think that your marriage is worth salvaging because you both are willing to go and see a counsellor on this. That is a great first step! Like Ling and Denise have mentioned, visit a family service centre for marital counselling. Maybe before going to the counsellor, I suggest sitting down and talking to him. Let him know how you feel - tell him why you want to go out with him & your family (there are ways to spend time out without spending much money), tell him that you would like to spruce up you guys' sex life, tell him you would like to receive more hugs and kisses. Let him know you would like to see him more involved and not always playing with the phone. Maybe ask why he doesn't do the things you have mentioned. Ask him if he has any opinions on how to spend family day together, etc! Open communication is very important and I believe talking to each other will be a big first step. It might be a little be awkward or even frustrating the first time, but keep talking, keep engaging in conversations with your husband. I hope that helps, good luck!

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Try approaching Family Service Centres. They do have Marital Counselling. I empathise with you. It's tiring if we women always initiate it, but I've come to realize that some men are just clueless about romantic stuff. If you initiate, they may eventually learn. I'm broke as well, working only part-time; so I exhaust my kids at playgrounds. There are many malls with free water playgrounds too. Big hugs to you Mummy!

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You and hubby sound like you both are worned out in the roles. In the midst of all these, you guys need to take a break. Financial expenses i understand. Counselling there are free go to the nearest family service center to your location. They will be able to assist you. Also, you guys dont need a divorce thats for sure. You just need to be rejuvenated.

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Check out ur nearest family care centre, they do provide counselling for couples. You can suggest like visiting parks & museums, can also pack some simple foods like sandwiches, salads for kids & adults.

I also having some issue. The link I send u is free. It's held at churches around spore. Hope this helps

Try to go for counselling.