Hi mommies. I want to share my situation with my husband's fam. Well, I came from an average fam, my parents are both based in SF Calif. My husband isn't that much. My problem is, my momma doesnt want me and my daughter to settle for what my husband can provide for us. For example, when I was about to give birth, my mother in law wanted to send me to a government hospital with the help of 4Ps im not actually sure if its a charity financial help from government as well. So my mom disagreed because she was afraid the staff might not treat and assist me well, so she offered that i give birth in a private hospital and she'll settle the bills and all. I was so ashamed because his family didn't really bother anymore to atleast give anything, they think that its totally fine because my parent can afford it. So, my parent let that pass. But right now, based on what I can observe, we are living together with my in laws, they are totally depending on me when I dont even have a job yet because I am breastfeeding. My husband needed to quit his job because he's job is too far he'd be staying there for almost whole month with just a few days days off, I decided that its hard if he'll leave me and our newborn alone with his family so I decided that we'll just put up a store business and the thing is my mom will support us with this business but cannot give it right away, because its tuition season of my sibs and things are coming up so we'll have to wait until she could give us capital. My in laws are totally just waiting for it and they dont say it but they practically telling me to ask my parents for my and my baby's necessities. Even the bill of our internet they are expecting us to pay it when they know that I and my husband is jobless so practically they want me to ask my parents for payment. What strategy would you suggest i should do? I am already trying my luck with online jobs for a start. I'm not sure i could totally live with them for a long time. Thank you.

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I'm sorry I just have to point this out. Maybe you should stop expecting help first from your in laws since this is mainly the problem. You know your husband and his family's financial status prior to marrying him. When you were going to give birth your in laws offered/suggested what only is within their finacial capacity. I think, based on your post, you have to understand also their situation, they are trying to make ends meet too. You live with them, they probably shoulder your family's other expenses too. You have to remember that they are not as privileged as your parent when it comes to earning money. You can ask your in laws for help in taking care of your newborn, and let your husband go back to his work to help with the finances. Talk with your husband what you should do as partners to lessen the expenses, find ways to generate more income without being at the mercy of other people. I'm going to quote what the other anon said because he/she has a point: "If you can't afford to live on your own, you have no business getting married." So just make the best of what you have for now. Things will be better soon. Just learn how to adjust and take full responsibility of your life. This is all part of adulting. It's totally normal. ^

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