I'm sorry I just have to point this out. Maybe you should stop expecting help first from your in laws since this is mainly the problem. You know your husband and his family's financial status prior to marrying him. When you were going to give birth your in laws offered/suggested what only is within their finacial capacity. I think, based on your post, you have to understand also their situation, they are trying to make ends meet too. You live with them, they probably shoulder your family's other expenses too. You have to remember that they are not as privileged as your parent when it comes to earning money. You can ask your in laws for help in taking care of your newborn, and let your husband go back to his work to help with the finances. Talk with your husband what you should do as partners to lessen the expenses, find ways to generate more income without being at the mercy of other people. I'm going to quote what the other anon said because he/she has a point: "If you can't afford to live on your own, you have no business getting married." So just make the best of what you have for now. Things will be better soon. Just learn how to adjust and take full responsibility of your life. This is all part of adulting. It's totally normal. ^
You're holding the key in our own hands. You actually have the choice either to stay and prolong the agony or to leave and enjoy the peace of mind you rightfully deserves. The Bible gives us an effective strategy in handling this mess: 1. A man and woman will LEAVE their parents and be one. So technically you must leave and start your own family. 2. Whatever justifications you may cite, it will not eradicate the fact that your husband must look for a job. He must provide for your needs. You made mentioned of the fact that his workplace is quite far; you can actually transfer to a location close to his workplace. When you allow him to provide for your family, you actually spare him of depression and low self esteem as this made him feel better about himself. 3. While it is good to receive financial support from your parents occasionally, it much better to stand on your own. You will be amazed on how the Lord will provide your needs if you are dependent on Him primarily. 4. Our in-laws might have different perspective than ours which might brought about by differences in academic and economic background, they still deserve our love, respect and understanding. For sure, they become part of our lives for a reason. God bless you. May God works in that area as you continue to put your trust in Him.
Hello mamshie. First I commend you for being strong for your family. Living with your in-laws is really tough since you are forced to get along with them even though you know they are becoming dependent to your resources. What I can advise to you is try to find another house where you can start building your own family. After all, may family na kayo. Anuman ang sabihin nila may maririnig at maririnig kang negative. Please remember that there can never be two Queen in a Kingdom. So try building your own kingdom. Mahirap po kasi makisama sa ibang bahay na maraming nakatira. Dadating ang point na pati needs ni baby hindu mo maprioritize kasi andaming kailangan sa tinitirhan nyo. Kaso it's one way of pakikisama db. You cannot eat what you wany without making sure na lahat ay makakatikim. Even the bills you are obliged to pay kapag wala silang maibayad and time will come na ikaw na lahat ang mag shoulder. Hindi naman yun karamutan but remember may family na po kayo na dapat unahin. Mahirap dumating sa point na pagdating sa family or anak natin wala na tayong magastos kasi naubos na sa ibang bagay.
hi sis hindi kaya inisip nila na umasa because ikaw na rin nagsabi pinagresign mo yung asawa mo sa work niya. dapat before pinagresign si husband may ipon din kayo mahirap po talaga if kayong dalawa ang walang trabaho. though mali din naman talaga umasa sa inyo ang pamilya nung guy i suggest bumukod kayo. pero if bumukod kayo isipin niyo din na additional expense yun either magrerent kayo pero atleast sure ka na sa inyong 3 lang mapupunta ang padala ng mommy mo. gaya ng ng sabi ng iba i hope hindi naman forever ang pag asa niyo sa parents mo. parang kasi ang helpless niyo based sa story hanggat walang dumadating na padala from your mother parang wala na talaga kahit emergency fund. sa ngayon mas maganda makahanap agad si hubby ng work sa lalong madling panahon since siya ang pinaka capable sa ngayon maghanap ng work. pray nalang din and be positive laging magisip kung pano makakahanap ng paraan.
Bumukod kayu ! Kung ako sayu dun ako sa mother ko titira kahit di namn maayos ang maganda ang buhay atlist ok na . Kesa namn magkaroon nang ganyan kasama sa bahay . Ay naku ! Sasabhin ko talaga sa asawa ko . Pero kung ayaw bumukod ng asawa ko , e kami nlng bubukod ng anak . ! At sasabhin ko sila nlng dalawa ang magasawa e ung mama nya namn nasusunod . Nakakainsulto parang pinapalabas nya porket pamamahay nya e parang wala akong silbe parang di sya nanganak at nagkaanak , tanungin mo sya kung pagkalabas ng asawa mo sa pwerta na nya nagtrabaho naba sya agad . !kakaimbyerna alam nyang bagong panganak ka . Pwede mo.rin.itanong kung habng nanganganak sya nagtratrabaho din . Deputa kung pwede lng habng nairi ako may trabaho at may kasamang pera ung ilalabas bakit hindi tas isampal ko sa mukha nya . Di namn sya pakikisamahan ko kundi anak nya masyado syang demanding 😁HAHAHAH SORRY po.✌
Si hubby dapat may initiative. Talk honestly to your hubby regarding what you feel and ask him options he could do. By the way, how old is your hubby?(if you wont mind me asking). If he’s young enough, then mahirap talaga. Ako, I was just 20 and hubby was 18 when we had our first child. Si hubby of course was hesitant to step out of his house because he was comfortable living with his family. Pro ako ang nag po force talaga na bumukod. Ang hirap nang sitwasyon, na gagapang ka talaga just to feed yourself and the family. On the other hand, very happy and satisfied dahil magkasama kaming dalawa at ang first born namin. Thankful ako dahil hindi sumusuko si hubby. Daming sinubukan na pang extra2x pra kumita. Kaya I know na kaya nyo rin yan. Esp. willing namn sumuporta sayo ang parent mo.
If i were you bumukod nalang kayo, hindi sa nag mamadamot pero, alam kasi nila na may nag papadala sayo kaya naasa sila sayo. Mahirap makisama sa inlaws, kung jobless sila at naasa lang sa mga anak nila. Somehow i can relate sa na fe feel mo. Yun lang may work naman asawa ko as a chef pero yung mother niya keep on asking money wala silang trabaho mag asawa to think na nasa 40's palang sila. So yep bitter ako about sa mga topics na ganyan about inlaws na pala asa. So ayon nga, kung binibigyan ka rin naman ng mom mo, bumukod nalang kayo, mag tayo ka ng business mo kaya niyo yan mag asawa. Kasi kung mag b business ka na nasa puder ka ng inlaws mo, baka hindi ka makaipon sa future ng anak niyo. Wag mo sana masamain sinabi ko :)
Same here. Nung nanganak ako yung in laws ko pinipilit na sa govt hospital ako manganak which is okay lang naman sakin ang kaso di naman ako inasikaso dun nung nagpaconsult ako kaya sa private hospital ako nanganak and ang aking in laws wala man lang tinulong, ni dalaw sa hospital wala, lahat sa side namin. Now, nakabukod na kami kasi buntis pa lang ako sobrang stress na ko sa bahay nila. Biruin mo may work yung FIL ko pero kami sumasagot ng upa sa bahay at pagkain for 8 members of the family plus ako pa and worse is yung dapat may work na nilang anak e hinahayaan lang nila tumambay kasi nakaksurvive naman sila with the help of my husband. Ending wala kaming ipon 😅 So it's much better to move out.
Is living with your parents an option? In my opinion, newlyweds should really leave the nest. If you cannot afford to live on your own, you have no business getting married. You’re only thinking that your in laws are mooching off you, but understand that maybe the feeling is mutual. They are probably thinking, “Akala ko ba may kaya sila...” Your husband should take the initiative to look for a job. Do temp jobs if he has too. Getting capital from your parents is not good either. It will only make your husband feel that he cannot support his family, or worse, he might not be motivated to work because he knows you’ve got your parents to run to when things get rough.
Sounds like a really tough situation! Taking care of a newborn, living with your in-laws, and making ends meet are not easy individually, what more together. I think it's great that you're looking for online jobs as that will really help. The missing piece for me is why your husband is not looking for another job right now. Might as well make the most of living with your in-laws and let them (if you're comfy with it) take more responsibility in caring for your newborn. Then your husband can find a full-time job that's nearer to where you live and you can pursue part-time online jobs.