I stumbled upon some WhatsApp messages on my Husband's phone. He was in BKK last weekend. The content to his friends was the recommendation of a dirty massage parlour in BKK where he said he "just goes for a shower". I know that this massage parlour is definitely a sleazy one (Google and message content says so). Our child is barely 4mths. He usually deletes his messages and I didn't manage to save them. How would anyone go about this?

I am a SAHM too. I occasionally check my husband's phone. He has 100% access to my phone too. I am not ashamed of doing that. He knows I do that, and he has nothing to hide anyway so he has never stopped me. I feel better doing that, although I believe my husband is not the kind that will cheat on me. I do trust my husband, but I just want to make sure. I don't want to wait till my Husband cheats on me, I found out and divorce and then blame myself why did I trust him so much. So I believed things could be prevented if I found out earlier. If it's just a one time thing, and he's has good records so far then I'll just take it as I don't know. Like if he's a good father and usually a good husband. Otherwise if it's happening again and again I don't see a point being married to a man like that.

"Stumbling" or checking your husband's messages is never a good idea. It may or may not open a can of worms that you can or can never get over. If I were you, I wouldn't directly confront him about the massage parlour because you reading his messages is also technically wrong and I can imagine the argument going round and round where no one wins. I would do the whole reverse psychology thing, asking him about his trip and also talk about how tired and alone I was when he was overseas and observe his reactions when I say that. But for the sake of answers, going to him directly might be the only way. Be prepared for an argument though. This kind of predicament is never easy.

so sorry to hear this. men face a lot of temptations. SAHMs don't beat yourself up! He chose you first! Remember that. If you let yourself slip up by being too engrossed with kids, adjust a little. Even if they are bad at it; invite them to play a bigger part in parenting. arrange for childcare and go on a date. text him cute photos and kind thoughts each day. Many men turn around! Forgive and move on to better things. Try it first! Your children will see your courage and commitment and wisdom and be better for it! TAKE CARE! HUGS. (wait a min, why does my profile say 'hoping for a child'? I am a SAH-workingM with 2 kids leh!)

To be honest, what do u want to do? 1) divorce 2) stay on If u choose to divorce go ahead. If stay on, warn him never to do it again show him how much he meant to u and the baby. Because of face value or business purpose, he has to agree to follow his friends to the sleazy place. It can be true that he really went there just for a shower. And because he knows u are "stumbling" on his text, that's another reason he is constantly deleting any message be it harmful or harmless. Ultimately it's the trust between the both of u.

My husband has a mistress openly now. Like u I found out his Watsapp msgs and confronted him. I'm do not want a divorce becoz of the kids, initially unhappy everyday but now I feel better by not bothering abt what he does outside. I know marriage shouldn't be like this, I dream of a happy family & a loving husband but sadly my Hb has changed. Indeed I have a big heart to tolerate all these unfaithness becoz I love my kids too much, I want them to have daddy around. When they are older and understand, I may leave. I duno...

Also to add on, he is in who would lie till I produce evidence (which in this case I do not have) he is however not that good a liar. My senses have always pointed me in the right direction and now I've had it, but who's going to believe a stay home Mommy ? He'll conveniently tell my parents again that it's because I'm too free to home and let my imagination run wild. I'm not a possessive person but will go in search for answer when something goes amiss.

Hey mama, I am sorry that this happened. It sucks and I feel for you. A woman's instinct is usually spot on. I don't think you need evidence. You have two choices here. To stay or to leave him. It really depends on you now. If you stay, can you forgive him? If you leave him, how will you feel once your anger subsided? Personally, I would not be able to get over such an indiscretion and my Husband knows it. So if this indeed happened I would choose to leave.

Just curious, why did you allow him to travel there without you and your child who is only 4months? And from what you say in the content, seems like it's a phrase guys use to go to places with extra services other than massage.