Hi all, I have a few questions that I need advice for. Do you need to mentally prepare yourself for a divorce or just pop the question out one day? If yes, how can you distract yourself from overthinking and keeping it together? I am on the verge of asking for a divorce. My husband has been mentally torturing me whenever we are quarelling and I believe it worsens my psychological health. During the quarrels and arguments he will talk about how screwed up I am with myself in the relationship and why I can get so annoying? The problem is, aren't you supposed to seek affection only from your spouse? But it doesnt seem like it for us- he finds that I am too dependent on him etc, questions why I am restricting him on his interest? I am really very tired of it. I feel that I can take it no longer but I still love him a lot. During the past years I have changed whenever we talk about issues and now, I somehow feel that I am the only one who is making the changes. Whatever or however I change, it will always be insufficient. Please help. Thanks all.

First of all, *BIG bear hug* I have not been through such stress situations but a couple of my close friends had which eventually ended up in either divorce or awkward relationship. I would not say that I understand because in each family, there is its own unique set of problems. Hurtful words are exchange when emotions run high - sometimes it hurts longer and more then was intended. I advise to talk to a counsellor - u can find more info at https://app.msf.gov.sg/Policies/Marriages/Marriage-Counselling It would be best if u can discuss with ur husband about how u both can go together so that u both can more peace in the household first. Please don't pop up the divorce word just yet because once said cannot be unsaid/unhurt. In some cases, the couple will still be advise to go through counseling before divorce to see if things can be worked out Maybe in the meantime u can try to spend some time for urself doing the things u like or catch up with ur friends etc - take a breather. The more u think abt it, the higher the chance of a over-reactive session when u talk to ur husband later I don't think I can give a lot of advice or finish giving advice because I do not know the whole story. But I do hope u both can work things out first - both of ur needs and wants - after that is done then can any positive feelings of love and affection flow. Divorce is a tough tough road. Don't throw the towel in yet without exhausting help.

Aw...i sure hope you feel better soon. It is indeed a traumatic situation you are experiencing. Nevettheless, there are other options available before you head or even consider divorce. For example, as the moms above mentioned counselling. Otheriwse try writting to him instead. Love is a wonderful emotion. The more feelings involved the harder and more frustrated it can cause anyone. There is only so much others can say as we are not in you. Then again, it wont be possible to state your whole story here either. So all i can advise is, the least is you need to know and source out all available options you have before hitting the last straw. Otherwise divorce is never a solution. Take care dear.

It is fate and love that brought you this marriage. Definitely think it through before embarking on divorce. Please consider counselling (even if its individual counselling, it would still be helpful.) You may also want to consider going on a trip without him. Take a breather and being away may help clear your thoughts. Wishing you all the strength that you need.

If I may say, a man wouldn’t change. Both probably need to sit down to agree to work it out. At least you still love him, I think for that, it’s worth a shot. Otherwise take a short break away from one another - you might realise each other are embedded into your lives so much you’d be happier bickering for the rest of your life together.

Quarrels are normal. But it's impt to resolve it there and then, don't drag it or leave it unresolved. Rule of thumb, never bring up past mistakes or unhappy issues. Focus on how you both can make things better for the future. Hang on! :)

If you have kids and given what you described, I believe divorce will put you in a worst situation. Try marriage counseling, early intervention can save your marriage and bring back your smiles.

As you yourself admitted. You still love him, so go for Counselling instead of considering divorce

do seek help maybe a counsellor help you sort out your thoughts first

please go for marriage counselling.