Divorce or Try to make it work?

Question

We are married for more then 10 years and we had a 10 year old child. I am Singaporean and he is french. 8 months ago I found out that he is having an affair with a bar hostess in CQ.We been there a couple of times and I warned him about her as well. I could literally see her evil intention! I found out about them early this year and have a copy of their WhatsApp archives.  I am so broken and drained, I am in pain. He wants to stay in the relationship but I am so tired and disgusted by his acts. How do I love him again? How do I forgive him? How do I trust him again? How do I stop thinking? His affair is mentally torturing me everyday. He told me he has no more contact with that hostess but how can I be certain? For now, I am staying put for my daughter.  Thinking maybe I should grind my teeth, let go of the hurt and provide her a happy family but I am currently feeling helpless and I felt like I am already at the edge giving up. Have been trying to get a job but it’s not easy after 10 years of not working.  Feeling lost..

Anonymous · Answer

Well then ask him if he is still interested with you and give him another chance. While we women do understand how hard to gain trust but we got to believe in ourselves. Try to go for honeymoon, staycation, spend time together and find the meaning of love with him again. People would only find scandal for two reason to have fun and sex. End day, when their first love leave them, then they start to regret and think of all the good moments. You can also go for counselling. All these hostess in the bar are just to flirt with men be it married or not. They are all about ONS/SPG kinda lady. Sorry if this is harsh but thats my two cents opinion. If during this period of you trying to make things work dont seems to see an effort then leave. All for the better of yourself emotionally and mentally. Not easy after all being married more than 10 years and your spouse had an affair. I mean, we are women we are strong. The only things that keeps us going will always be our kids. Meanwhile do put up your resume online platform to get a decent job. All the best and hopefully it will get better.