WHAT WOULD YOU FEEL?

I dunno how to start this. My husband's past relationship (just one) lasted for almost 10 years. His ex cheated on him, that was the reason why they broke up. Recently, i saw one of his convos with his friends on a Group chat about their breakup. He was telling his friends how they broke up. Then what really bothered me was, he sent them photos. Photos of all the evidences of his ex's cheating. Like conversations of his ex and the third party and photos of them together. He mentioned there that he kept it as a reminder. They talked and talked. He talked how broken he was before, how he moved on and so on. His friends told him how lucky he is now, that we're married. They're telling my husband that i am finally his "The one". He agreed. He said there that he is so happy now. I am happy about what he said there. But i really am bothered why does he still keep those screenshots of evidences. I don't know what else to feel. I told him before how insecure i am about how long their relationship was. Who wouldn't? Everyone, as in everyone thought that the both of them would get married. He just went MIA on his friends when the brokeup happened then when he came back years after, i am the one he married. What do you think? I know i shouldn't be worried 'coz he's not even cheating or whatsoever. But what I'm really worried is, what if he isn't totally healed? It has just been 2 years since they broke up. And it has just been 3 months since we got married. We were in a relationship as bfgf for almost a year. (Brokeup was in October 2017. We met and got together in September 2018. Got married in January 2020) I know when i met him that he was so scarred for life for what his ex did to him. I really can't help it. I cried thinking about it. He doesn't know it yet. Maybe it's just PPD since i just gave birth last month. I need your advices mommies :( ... I'm really bothered. I'm overthinking and paranoid. Maybe signs of PPD talaga :(

9 Replies
 profile icon
Magsulat ng reply

Okay lang yan sis, give him time to heal from those memories kung san siya nasaktan. Dadating din yung tatangalin niya lahat yn and accept what happen between the two of them minsan talaga may taong di matanggap yung nangyaring masakit sakanila I mean oo natanggap naniya yng part na hindu na sila at di naging silansa huli pero yung nangyari yun nalang yung masakit for him na kasi bakit sa tagal nagawa pa nung ex niya yun pero always feel him na Mahal na Mahal mo siya huwag mo naoang muna ibalik saknya yung nakaraan nayun or anything na makakasira sa relasyon niyo tandaan mo nalang na yung nakaraan is wala nayun alaala nalang yung kalaban mo at yung alaalang yun kaya mong palitan ng mas magnda mas better at mas matatag na relasyon always be a better woman/wife to him basta walaniang nakikitang pagbabago sakanya keep calm at lalong huwag ka mag panic kapag nakakakita ia ng changes sakanya prove yourself as always that your THE ONE.

Magbasa pa
2y ago

I dunno why but it's really bothering po talaga :( in the photos of evidences, some are photos of my husband and his ex's convos. I've read my husband's replies when he found out about the cheating. And damn i even cried when i read how hurt he was. It's really heartbreaking. I know my husband's is too scarred when i met him. But i didn't know how scarred he was until i saw this. I vowed that I'll make him happy, but this was just too much :( I'll try to confront him and ask him why does he still keep those evidences as a reminder :(

Hello sis! Minsan wag na natin i exage un mga sitwasyon. Sinabi nmn nya sa convo na masaya sya sau so y ka nagbobother dba? Un nlng mna pnghawakn mo. Now totoo ang bilis ng pangyayari na nagpkasal kau e kkabreak lng nila tpos ang tgal na din nila. Minsan ksi ndi sukatn un paggng mtgal ng magbf at mag gf pra sila magkatuluyn. May iba nagkakatuluyn may iba ndi din nmn. Ang dapat na ginagwa mo ipakita mo sknya kng gaano mo sya kmhal at na never mo ggwin sknya un ginawa ng x nya. Ganon lng ka simple. Ipakita at iparamdam mo na tama lng desisyon nya na kaw ang babae pinakasln nya. Ksi pag nagpa stress klng sa gnyn kaw din mhhrapn magkkrn ka ng tampo sknya and at lalaki lng yn to the point na kontng gawn nya lng ndi mgnda mggng big issue sau yn. Bago plng kau sis i save mo ang energy mo sa mas mdami pang pde nyo harapin na trials... God Bless!

Magbasa pa
2y ago

Ganun nga ginagawa ko. Since day 1 ng relationship namin, i make him feel special. Nung nakita ko na lang talaga yung mga photos ng evidences na tinatago pa rin nya till now yung nagpabago bigla sa mood ko. Should i tell him that I've seen their talk and should i ask him why does he still those? It's really bothering me 😟. I know i shouldn't and i am just overacting but i really can't help it

relate sis! 6 yrs sila ng ex gf nya na nagcheat, after 3 months of break up naging kami, may mga friends din sya na nagtatanong pano sila nagbreak, so sinesend rin nya mga nascreenshot nyang convo ng pagchicheat ng ex nya but he never made me feel that Im a rebound or I'm just a way so he could move on. He always assures me that he loves me and his ex was already part of the past and that I dont need to be insecure. He followed me when I went abroad because he said he doesn't want to lose me. We get married after a year. And up until now pinaparamdam pa rin nya sakin na Im the one. wag ka masyado magisip sis kung inaassure ka naman nya na mahal ka nya. kung di ka tlaga mapakali kausapin mo sya bakit kailangan pa nya itago mga screenshots nya, maiintindihan ka nya. Dont stress yourself too much. ☺️

Magbasa pa
2y ago

Hi we've talked na. But i am still bothered :( i guess there's more to me than that issue. Or it's just PPD taking its toll on me.

Give him some time momsh. he might not have moved on not because he still loves his ex but because he can't accept the truth that he was being cheated. It was really painful on his part because he was being hurt by the person whom he trusted so much. He has not forgiven her, nor forgiven himself. Recovering from cheating is a slow & painful process. It would either make or break a person. So give him his time momsh. The best thing you can do is understand him. Make him feel love. Allow him to heal at his own pace without pressure. When everything in him is getting well, he will never be the same person but the better person than he was.

Magbasa pa

What you can do is to make him feel that you love him so much. Make him feel that what happened from his past will not be happening in the present. Ung feelling na secure sya sa relationship nyo. 10 years is 10 years kaya mahirap mo mawala ung sa husband mo. Hindi mo sya masisisi. Nung pumayag ka na maging kayo and you two get merried kasama na sa consequence un sis. As long as love ka ng husband mo you should not be worry or feel insecure.

Magbasa pa
2y ago

I'll try not to think of it too much :(

VIP Member

PPD mamsh need mo labanan ung isip mo sabi nga it's all in the mind minsan magcreate ka talaga ng mga scenario sa isip mo tapos very emotional pa ...need mo i focus ung self mo sa iba wag mo i feed ng negativity ung isip mo kc matatalo ka talaga lahat ng kakapanganak na experience yan ... Be strong labanan mo ung nega na pumapasok sa isip mo wag mo i entertain ...

Magbasa pa
2y ago

Thank you.

Parang popoy and basha lang ang eksena minus the marriage. May paMIA si guy, so that means sobrang mahal nga nya yon. Pero i think ikaw ang mahal non kaso lang siguro di nya lang maforget yung pain na yon kasi sobrang minahal nya. Wala ka ng magagawa dun sis, all you have to do is to make him whole again

Magbasa pa
2y ago

I still keep on seeing old convos And pictures related to his ex. He said it doesn't matter anymore and it would take more time to delete those things, kaya di na nya ginawa talaga. Pero di ko alam bakit nasasaktan ako. Feels like, half of his life revolved around his ex talaga. Magkakilala na kami noon naguusap pa sila. Pero ako na raw ang mahal nya. It's really frustrating talaga :( I'm so insecure sa tagal ng relationship nila.

Hmm if it were me kakausapin ko sya. Like light na conversation lang. Mahal okay lang ba magtanong? Kasi nabasa ko ung conversation nyo pasensya na kung nabasa ko, medyo nao-awkward-an kasi ako na tinatago mo pa ung mga screenshot and blah blah blah Basta kausapin nang mahinahon

2y ago

Yun nga po pinagiisipan ko kung paano ko sisimulan eh. Haaays nastress ako lalo

pag binasa mo talaga usapan ng mga lalaki masasaktan ka talaga momsh.πŸ˜… isipin mo na ikaw na mahal nya ngayon at ikaw ang pinakasalan at masaya kayo. wala namang 3rd party so mukhang ppd lang yan hehe.

2y ago

Wala nga ping 3rd party πŸ˜… hehe. Kaya di ko na rin sinasabi sa kanya kasi baka mainis lnag sya sakin na ganito palagi iniisip ko eh wala naman talaga syang ginagawang masama.