Husband discourages me to work full time even home-based because he doesn't want my life tied to work. He will only allow me if I'll put up a business or join seminars for additional skills but says no to me being employed. We have a child and I already asked my mother to look after her if Im at work, but this is the cause of our argument. He feels that his responsibility of being a provider might be robbed. Is this true for some or almost of you?

12 Replies
 profile icon
Magsulat ng reply

Being employed kasi means you'll be tied up to your employer, so every time you both have work on holidays, weekends, and overtime.... You'll call your mother or fight with your husband if he can babysit and absent. So next time, dyan nyo na patitirahin mother mo at ang next problem niyo is bakit nakiki elam ang mother niyo in your lives. If you have the capacity to make a business, it's better kasi hawak mo oras mo with child but if wala, you can make an argument that what he brings to the family is not enough and we have to work both. Also, did he say in words na you're robbing him of his responsibility as provider? Or nasabi mo lang as your point of view? it depends on you also (not just money) If you feel you want to be a hands on mom, or do corporate again.... but it's better this kinds of goals are talked to with the husband before and after.

Magbasa pa
VIP Member

ipaliwanag mo po sa kanya yung point mo at pakinggan mo rin yung point nya. then pagkasunduan nyo kung anong best na gagawin. dapat tanggap mo po at tanggap din nya kung anong mapagdedesisyunan. hindi yung napipilitan lang. sa case kasi namin, dati nung wala pa kaming anak, pareho kaming may work. pero nung nagkababy na, ako na yung naggive way kasi kung tutuusin mas kelangan ako ng anak namin. ayokong ipaubaya sa iba ang pag aalaga sa anak ko. then dahil medyo tumagilid ang economiya natin ngayon, sobrang gipit talaga. gusto kong magwork pero ayoko rin iwan ang anak ko. kaya ako na mismo nagrequest kay partner na magnenegosyo ako, para kumikita ako while nag aalaga ako sa anak ko. pumayag naman siya, kasi alam naman nya na hindi niya talaga kayang punan lahat ng pangangailangan namin.

Magbasa pa

This is exactly what is happening to us. When I decided to quit my corporate job years ago, it was my goal to become a hands on mom. However, I felt that there is really a need for me to work, not just because it's an additional income for us, but because I still want to continue to learn and challenge myself even if I am now a hands on mom. I was able to land a job with a really great career opportunity and the pay was really very much competitive compared to what I was earning before. Unfortunately, my husband didn't appreciate it. It has been the source of our disagreements.

Magbasa pa
8y ago

Did you still continue to work or did you just complied with your husband?

In my own humble opinion, nowadays, it needs both husband and wife to build and secure the family's future. Considering the huge amount of monthly bills and other financial concerns. Of course, if one has a child who has special needs, it's a different case. One of you should sacrifice and take care of the child and the other one needs to work so hard. Doing business is good to look at also where you manage your own time. Again, its just my opinion.

Magbasa pa

need ninyo mag usap kase, kame nung una pa lang sbi nia ayaw nia na mag work ako,kase mahihirapan lang daw ako, pero ayaw nia akong pigilan s desisyon ko, hinayaan nia ako mag work at ngayon 4yrs n ako nag wowork,ako n ung nag sasabi na sana pala nakinig ako sayoπŸ˜‚mas ok pa lang natututukan ang mga bata. titingnan pa namin after pandemic if mag cocontinue ako s work kase d pa namin alam,sino mag aalaga s mga bata, since preggy ako ngaun..πŸ’œ

Magbasa pa

Feeling robbed of the responsibility of being a provider is a definite sign of insecurity. One income in the family is simply not enough especially if you have a lot of kids. He should really be thankful that your heart is to help in bringing income to the family instead of feeling insecure.

It's all because of pride. The husband doesn't want to feel inferior that you are providing for the family. He should even be thankful that you are tying to help him out financially.

Pag uusap ang da best way. Not arguing. Learn to share you thoughts as a couple not by judging nor make a decision which appropiate for your whole familyπŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘¦

Yes, there are cases like this. If the husband feels insecure of his status, he doesn't allow the wife to do the work for the family. They feel less of a man maybe.

equal Ang rights niyo pag dating sa career path na gusto niyo as husband and wife Kung nag take kayo ng seminar before getting marry. pag usapan n lng Ng mabuti.