How it is to be a single mom? I want to have a child with the man I love though I know he would not take responsibility for the child. Will this be easy, will this be difficult?..Any single moms with similar experiences or have other's experiences to share?

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From a social point of view, it is (still) not easy to be a single mother in Singapore (unfortunately). While we have progressed in many aspects, Singapore is still slowly opening up to the idea of non-traditional family units e.g. single mother/parent families. I have single mother friends from Singapore and countries in Europe -- the difference in terms of social acceptance, financial assistance and benefits are worlds apart. Recently, the government has announced improvements to benefits for single mothers and while I applaud the move, I feel that more can be done. https://www.ecitizen.gov.sg/Topics/Pages/Assistance-schemes-for-single-parents.aspx All the single mothers I know are very resilient and I admire them for that. Some had their babies really young and obviously had a harder time while some had their babies as a single parent when they are older and are financially-ready to raise a child alone. Their experiences, difficulties as single mothers may be unique but their resilience and dedication are equally commendable.

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6y ago

Thank You Yuna, this is very encouraging !

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I would have find it difficult financially but more importantly it's the emotional support given, unless there is strong family support given. I initially wanted to be a single mum but without having a family, living alone in a rented room and I don't have any family members, it's going to be so hard. After many many decisions making and discussions with my partner, we both felt that having a family is crucial for baby. It took a lot of courage to move along and realignment in our lifestyle. Thankfully his side of family is supportive and offers help in caring for the baby. No matter what, if you have decided, start making plans on how you can manage financially and how your family can help you. I won't say it's gonna be a walk in the park. There will be nites where you feel alone and need someone to give you comfort.

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It is definitely harder having to look after the baby alone. You will need at least one more pair of hands to help. It will be very difficult to juggle between work and baby. Infant care is very expensive now. If you have to rush every morning to send baby to school and rush back to fetch baby after work is very hectic. I used to rush here and there. I find it very very taxing on our body and mental health. I dread waking up to the next day. Do note that single mother do not get baby bonus for the baby. If financially wise, you can afford for everything being a stay at home mum or there is people to look after baby for you, I think it will be easy. If not, it will be extremely hard.

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6y ago

Thanks Reine, this will surely make me give it a deeper thought :)

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It's hard, even having two to take care of one is hard and I can imagine it only 10x harder to do it as a single mum. But, sometimes hard things are worth it, and perhaps anything worthy is by definition hard.

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Have you considered adoption instead? That's what we are planning for the next one :)

6y ago

im actually considering that too. what is the process here in singapore? or do we go elsewhere?