How do you let you mum-in-law know that you will be calling the shots on the upbringing of your child (without sounding rude)?

Good luck. My daughter is 18 months and I still struggle and cry to my husband. But neither one of us would ever disrespect her

Its better if you and your husband agree on this first and then talk calmly with your MIL and suggest in a subtle way.

I will let my mother in law know that I would like to enjoy my daughter growing up in a way of my own upbringing.

I would suggest just go by logic and facts. That way you have a strong reason :)

Just like listening to a crazy uncle, just listen, nod and move along.

thanks