How do you ask your mum to be more involved in helping with the baby without hurting her feelings?

It depends on how much involvement you want. Other than wanting our freedom, the new generation of grandmas also prefer to have their own freedom and personal space. Take for example my mum who is 50 this year and still actively working. It doesn't make sense for me to ask her to stop working as her income is quite difficult to compensate for, and she has more social activities than me. Haha. Sometimes when I go over to my parents' place with my bub over the weekend I don't get to see her until night. It's also not fair for me to ask her to stop working or enjoying herself as that would be pretty selfish. As and when she is around in the house she helps to entertain and take care of my 6 month old. I can't ask for more, it's my baby anyway. You could probably engage your mum more during playtime with your baby so she feels more connected to your baby and will naturally be more involved? But it really boils down to what kind of personality she is.

You can simply tell her that mummy, you please do this or that since you are experienced and I trust your style of doing things for the baby than even myself. This way, she will happily take on more things. Also, if she is your mom then I do not think you have to diplomatic. You can straightaway tell your mom that I want your help in this, please see. In this state all that is most important is how old is your mother. If she is healthy and young then you can tell her to do things without any guilt, but if your mom is little old, you yourself will feel bad in making her do things for the baby. I think being around the baby is also so much of a help as then you can do work in the home, else you have to be around the baby so that she doesn't feel being alone.

I personally feel that you cannot really 'force' your mum to be more involved if she doesn't like it or want to. There are some grandmas who love taking care of grandkids but there are also grandmas who doesn't want to. I think you should talk to her to find out about how she feels about it and also if you really need help, you can ask her nicely if she is able to help you. If not, then I'm afraid you have to either do it urself (it's your baby after all) or look for someone else (eg. a nanny). No point ruining the relationship between your mum and you because of this.

Honestly i won't know how to say or even open my mouth. Before i even delivered, she said firmly that she WON'T be helping to care for the kiddos. Ok i was fine with that as i have my inlaws helping me. But now she is constantly asking to see the kiddos over the skype, but she never once offered like a weekend over at her place. (im not refering an overnight stay u know) So i get irritated and annoyed by her constant demands and yet she doesn't want to help a single tiny bit

I agree with Samantha and Nooraini. Unfortunately (or not), my mum prefers to be a backseat driver, and I used to feel very sore about it. But since I started to think that my parents are not obligated to help, I see them volunteering to help me more. I also respect them by asking them first if they can help. If they can't, I make another arrangement.

It depends. For me personally I try not to ask for help too much as my kids are my responsibility and not theirs. But for urgent cases, I'd just bring it up to her and see if she's okay if it. If she is, good for me so I wouldn't need to seek external help. But if she's too tired, then I'd engage a part time baby sitter.

Not all grandparents are overtly involved with their grandchildren. These things cannot be forced, it comes from within. You may leave your baby for an hour or so for some time and give both some time to spend together. Its up to your mother how involved she wants to be..

my mum is exactly like this, and yes i used to be very upset but she has done her part in bring 3 of us up now is her turn to relax and now it is our responsibility

thanks