Hi mummies, I need advice on a non breastfeeding issue. My father in law has been taking care of my daughter since I went back to work when she was 2 months old. Since then, baby has had problems latching on, tried for so long to get her to latch again but to no avail, so now I'm exclusively pumping. My father in law insists that fat babies are healthy babies and has been feeding her a lot since I went back to work, even when she cries and turns away, he will still force the bottle in her mouth. baby is > 97th percentile and the PD has asked us to limit her intake. Somehow, my father in law refuses to respect my husbands and my wishes when it comes to our baby. He insisted on feeding her water before she's 6 months old, wanted to give her solids before then also and he insists that we should give her the pacifier. I live with my in laws and I get very stressed out worrying if he is giving her water or solids, or not letting her sleep. It's so bad that I changed my job so I can be around more to take care of my baby. Every morning before I go to work, I will prepare her morning feed of 160ml (she was drinking 210ml previously) and go to work. Imagine my surprise when I was home and realized that he topped up the milk to 210ml again. And he does this for every feed till I come home. And if she wakes up 1.5 hours later, he will insist that she is hungry again. On weekends when I bring her home to my mother's she drinks 160 per feed and it will last her at least 3 hours. I know that he will never do anything to hurt her on purpose but I am getting very annoyed that he doesn't respect our decisions. How do I handle this ? Even when the PD tells him, he insists he knows better. Help. (Sorry for the long post)

Rose Mary

17 Replies

I would put my child in childcare. If talking it out doesn't work do something to make sure your child isn't under his care. Alternative is to ask pd to tell him how dangerous his actions are. My philosophy is such that my child's needs comes first, I don't feel that there is a need to be nice or tactful when it is jeopardized

I think in laws and parents, elderly in general are stuck with their old ways and they want to help the best way they know how. If that is what worked for him a long time ago, they will adopt the same techniques. You're gonna have to be firm with your rules and get your hubby on board. Try to change care arrangements.. Sorry.

I think he is very headstrong and if he doesn't listen to either your hubby or you means he never will. See for a 6 months till the child is a bit more strong and independent if you can work from home so that you can do things your way. Better be safe than sorry later due to wrong ways.

Promo terbesar expert care sudah dimulai, diskon hingga Rp.100.000 sedang berlangsung di shopee, ada juga voucher diskon 100% alias gratis bagi bunda yang beruntung. Buruan cek di https://shope.ee/9UfEMMqqTg (id-969)

Ask your husband to be firmer to his parent and try to get other arrangements for your baby's care. At least until your FIL understands that he must respect your decisions concerning your child.

i think he is just concerned. sometimes grandparents can be a handful. try talking to your hubby and see what he suggests. let him know your thoughts and invite him into the thinking process.

thanks