My mother in law had issues with my intimacy with my father in law... The intimacy was the same I have with my dad.. Today my 4 year old daughter runs to her grandpa and plays with him...she has issues with that too. What could be her reason of such insecurity with me and my daughter? She has rebuked us on the matter a lot many times and my father in law is a lamb...while she's around and otherwise too.. Answers pls...

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Maybe she's super old school and think that there should be a clear boundary between man and woman, regardless if their family or not. Or maybe it's a hierarchy thing -- your father in law is older and patriarch of the family and as such, has to be treated with only respect and no intimacy or closeness. If this happened to me, I'd definitely get my husband to talk to his mother. Personally I'm non confrontational and my future MIL can be quite hard headed and set in her ways so I always get my partner to talk to her when I'm annoyed or upset with her words or actions.

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I think your MIL is from the old school of thought were daughter in law has to maintain distance from the men of the house, and same for the daughters of the house too. if she is so uncomfortable with your relationship with your FIL and if your FIL has not clarified it out himself, and not even your hubby, I don't think it's worth it. Also, it is not just you but she has a problem with the granddaughter getting close to the grandfather as well. I guess back off for some time. If your FIL does not take a stand, you should avoid getting into something like this.

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Is it possible that your MIL came across some bad incident and hence is wary? or as the others suggested, it could be that she is very orthodox, and wants you and your daughter away from him. next time she rebukes, ask her what is wrong in you being close to him the way you are to your own father, and what is wrong in your daughter being close to him? speak to your husband also about this as well as to your FIL, and tell them this is what your MIL says, and make sure you say this in front of her. Don't be accusatory but ask her whats the issue.

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Hi Naaz, this is really a tricky issue. There is a possibility that your mom-n-law is orthodox in her thinking, which is why she doesn't like your relationship with your father-in-law. Worse is the fact that she chides your daughter too. It would be a good idea to speak to her openly about it so there is no misunderstanding between the two of you. Involve your husband in the discussion too. There is a good chance he will be able to talk his mom out of her insecurities.

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Does your partner notice the same as you do? Has your mil told you this or you are assuming? May be her insecurity stems from the fact that you will take the position that she always held in the house. Instead of letting your husband do the talking (your mil would know you told him anyways), why not talk to her with your husband and father in law around in a non-confrontational way? It will get awkward but will definitely clear some issues between you and her. Good luck!!

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This can be scary. I will stay away from FIL to avoid any misunderstanding .

exactly what do you mean by.. "my intimacy with my father in law"??