FTM meltdown

Had a number of meltdowns due to the changes of having a newborn esp the cries and the lack of sleep. Please share your emotional ad physical experiences when you had or are having a newborn at home. Appreciate some advices too thank you~

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Super Mum

I went through the same thing too. For the first 8 weeks, my LO could only sleep on me on the sofa, so that was so draining. Whenever she had colic pain and cried/screamed so pitifully, I would cry too. It’s important, firstly, to realise that we can’t do everything, and that many things are not within our control. Once we start lowering our expectations and knowing that things will not be perfect (in fact, the road is so bumpy) initially, it helps us set realistic goals and adjust our feelings/emotions too. Secondly, in order to feel better gradually, we need to try to physically solve all the issues. Remember that baby has to learn many things after birth, including how to express him/herself, how to self soothe, how to sleep in the cot, how to latch on/feed from the bottle, etc. No one masters skills immediately; it’s the same for babies. Whatever you and baby are struggling with, remember that it’s a journey you’re taking with your little one, step by step. As I mentioned, my LO could only sleep on me.. then I gradually transitioned her to be willing to sleep on the rocker for short periods of time (with me watching), and only in the past 2 weeks has she finally agreed to sleep in the cot (she’s 3 months old now). A few days ago, she would wake up after 25 minutes during the day and after 45minutes during the night. Even though that seemed to be worse than the time she slept in the rocker, I chose to press on because I know that’s a milestone for her (previously could not be put in the bed at all). Last night, her average timing in the cot went up to 1 hr 10 minutes. I thank God for every extra minute I get to sleep. Haha. I celebrate each tiny milestone as well, and praise my LO, which puts so many smiles on her little face. I’m still tired, and there’s still a long journey to go, but I hope you’ll hang in there, and know that you’re not alone in this. Also, you’re doing a great job! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise:) Find joy in the tiny stuff, and when things are tough, press on, as well as try to get some emotional and physical support (especially from your husband/family). If you need more encouragement, continue to post here, and we’ll try to support you as much as possible. After all, I’m awake at unearthly hours every night too 😂 Take care!

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VIP Member

You are definitely not alone. Many ftms are usually overwhelmed in the first month. Especially when you have to handle the baby and also take care of your own recovery. I was a sahm for 9 months and it definitely wasn’t easy. I did had some help but I was more keen on being the hands on mom as I couldn’t get along well with my in laws. It took a toll on me because I was struggling to handle baby all my myself but at the same time I felt like I couldn’t do it. I was physically tired and mentally drained all the time. But trust me, at the end of the day, it’s all worth it. My baby is 19m now and when I looked back, I’m glad I have been through it all. Although I would definitely suggest getting some help if you can beacuse your mental health is really impt. I’m just glad that I was strong enough to push through. Once you learn of babies cues, you will get the hang of it. I feel routines are impt, such as feeding, sleeping time etc. It helps you when your baby keeps to a routine and you know when he/she is gonna wake up etc. Sorry it’s such a long post but I hope that helps! Hang in there, mummy! 💪🏻

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You're not alone mummy. but everything is worth it when you see your lo cooing and smiling back at you. My baby cried lot in the first two months and I'm really clueless as first time mum. But things slowly got better as we started to understand his behavior and common problems in baby. Dont feel bad to ask help from your close one. Your mental state is important to your lo. Happy mum happy baby.. Sometimes, my hubby will take care of our lo in the weekend and some nights we will take turn to feed him so that one of us could have longer stretch of sleep

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Super Mum

Me too! The lack of sleep was the main culprit. My husband is also very tired as he is a very hands on father. We will quarrel sometimes but will always reconcile afterwards. I extended my confinement nanny’s service by another 2 weeks so as to get more rest since I will be on my own for the next few months. I will also talk to my older sister and my confinement nanny and ask them for advice on how to handle my baby. My sister and mother will also drop by my place during the weekends to help out.

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I went through the same thing. I was depressed for 6-7 months and got slightly better thereafter. I suffered from 2 times of mastitis and feeding was a tough journey for me. I know it’s tough, but rest as much as you can. Speak to people. You are the best your child has and don’t be so hard on yourself.

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VIP Member

I know how it feels. If u are feeling tired, do talk to ur family or husband or friends abt it. Im thankful because i have a friend who is experiencing the same phase as me. We kept sharing our thoughts and it got me thru this period

Super Mum

It's overwhelming yes, but also rewarding. Stay strong mommy! If there's somebody who can help look after your baby for a couple of hours so you can take some time away, treat/pamper yourself.

Hi Mum, I completely understand what you are going through and believe me you are not alone. Take your husband's help and talk to your parents as well about it. With time it will be fine

You arent alone. Talk to your husband or friends or family about it. Maybe they can help you during the day so you can get enough sleep too. It will get better. :)

VIP Member

I feel yeaaa...