messy in the head

Feeling sorry that this happened to you. I was a single mum in my teens, now my pair of twin are teenagers too, i only got married recently to great husband who didnt judge and loved us dearly. I hope your bf will be responsible in caring so you wont have to face this yourself. It was really not easy being a single mother. I did it still, i felt i am so selfish to end an unborn baby's life, who could they be if I groom them up properly. Why should they die under my decision. And most imptly they are my blood and flesh too. I went to all the gynea appt with out a husband, my tummy was huge but i have no one to carry my bag for me, give me a back rub or leg massage. Many nights i cried because i was so lonely and alone. After i gave birth to them, i became the father and mother role for them, and no one shared parenting roles with me. I still felt as lonely as ever. No husband to share my chores, no one asked me "how was your day with the kids". No hugs, no kisses. As they grew older, I sacrificed alot of opportunities like Businesses, job advancements, having friends of my age, going overseas, studying, because they needed me and finance was tight. Getting a decent boyfriend was not easy too because most people judge, even if the guy dont judge, their family will judge too. I remember i dated a bf for close to 4 years, he told me "i dont want to marry you because i cannot accept people saying I use my money to raise someone else's children, like im an idiot" he told me "my exgf also look pretty, her family status better than yours, she is a uni grad, why am i with you ah?". It lowered my morale so much, but i was thankful to have met those douche bags. It taught me that I just got to be even more independent and successful. There's so much more sorrows to say, but as a mother we have all it takes to be strong and brave for our kids. That's the whole point. Im so thankful for them. It was them who taught me the meaning of life. Their happiness and smile taught me about being responsible. Their love for me comfort me when i feel rejected. It was also them that filtered away calculative and narrow minded man so only big hearted and responsibile ones can walk into our lives. Now they are teenagers already, i have 2 "bestie" to hang out with. They are someone that i know truly loves me because i gave them all my love. So all the labels, gossips, looking down, judging i had experience from tge past.... I proved them all wrong. I never believe I would be able to find a "proper" boyfriend what more, husband. Someone who will love my kids and me truly. Be faithful and fair even if we have another kid coming. Especially after kissing so many frogs, its like.... Prince is definitely not coming, just close shop. But my hubby appeared, his love for us showed me... The right one is worth waiting. And even if he don't appear, i still have my daughters. I am very happy with my back then decision. A decision that most people will ask me to abort coz i was then a teenager myself. Everyone told me "its gonna ruin your life". So many nurses in the hospital was wanting my babies for adoption. Even My ex's mother called me to ask me to go for an abortion if i refuse to marry his son. I told her... "its my tummy, i will do what i want" I believe most of us here will discourage abortion because most of us here are parents. We know the joy our children brought to us but Ultimately its your decision. I hope you discuss with your close friends, parents or get a counsellor to talk it out with you. You can also find me on social media if u need more advice :) i wont judge your decision. I just dont want you to regret. Loves!

That is what happen to me too. My boyfriend insisted, threaten me with knives, went to my uni and made a fuss. I was with him for the last 3 years, and this was the last thing I thought would happen. I thought he loved me. I thought we were going to have a family together sooner or later. But nope. My parents weren’t supportive, they were typical Chinese parents. My mum asked me to leave the house whenever there is relatives coming over to visit. I felt like dying so many times. I wanted to commit suicide various times but thank god I didn’t. I ran away from home, hide the fact that I didn’t go for abortion, and lead a new life with my daughter now. I won’t lie that it would be smooth sailing. I suffered a lot. I cried every night. I hated god, hated him for giving me a fate like this. But I’m thankful I had a wonderful relationship with the child’s dad for the last 3 years. I hated how I went through the whole pregnant alone, I hated how I went through hours of labour alone. But the moment I saw my daughter, all my hatered for my ex is gone. All I wanted is a new life with my daughter, and nothing else matter. Babe please, think carefully first, talk to counselors, talk to friends. Don’t make a decision because of a rash moment. I still have my university loan to pay off, I’m not eating restaurant all the time, but I’m giving my daughter the best I can, within my means. I know people around you may say abortion or even adoption is cruel, but just know that you have the rights to your own happiness too. Others are not you, they can see your situation, but they will never understand how you really feel. Do what makes you happy. Trust that things will eventually be fine! All the best!

I know how u feel.. i'm currently pregnant now.. but my boyfriend left me when he found out about it. He's since blocked me on all platforms and even told his friends to block me(some did not) and i'm going thru this alone. I wanted to abort it but i thought that i'll give this baby a chance.. i'm currently in my 2nd trimester and really looking forward to welcome my baby girl.. so u shld consider if u want to keep it or not.. it's up to you.. hugs.

dont bother about what your bf says!! you've to ask urself if you're ready/want a kid!! dont worry about money etc, i believe money u can always earn n save. i personally feel abortion shld never be an option moreover your baby is innocent, you caused the "accident" and is very unfair to take ur innocent child life but it's even more unfair to not want a kid nor ready to be mom and let ur kid suffer for longer.

Ask urself can u accept the reason he gave to ask u to go for abortion.. if he tell u tat he is not ready, blah blah.. den y he cant be more responsible to use a birth control. Can he be a gd father if the baby is born?? R u ready to sacrifice lots of things for ur baby if u r gg to be a single mum?? If yes then keep the baby. I'm sure the baby will give u strength and lots of motivation to move on.

Depending on if you are ready or not, and relationship with bf stable or not. I grew up without a dad, it wasnt easy n had impact on me. I told myself I will give my child a complete family as much as possible and will not make the same mistake as my mum. Shes a good mum, dont get me wrong. Just that theres something empty which can never be filled.

I'm against it unless it is medically necessary, e.g. life threatening to mum (like ectopic pregnancy), or if baby is deformed/birth defects until it is really not able to live even if it survives gestation. Talk to your parents and counselors first before making any decision. Your baby is the innocent party in all this.

Please don't ~ Abortion is very harmful to the body. Baby is innocent. I know it's not easy but I really hope you do take up the courage to be a single mum if your partner still insist on abortion. Go online to watch those abortion video. Not to scare you but to remind you it's a life! Please be strong!

So sorry to hear you are going through this:( It must be so painful for you. Please find support and counsel in your trusted ones and speak to a counsellor. This is your baby and your body - you should never be pressured to abort because of someone's words.

Pls don't it hunts ne everyday its been 3years it fekt like yesterday i can never gorgive myself till i had another baby girl that i prayed for forgiveness in return my responsibility is to look after my new child