My MIL is a very finicky person and she likes to keep things in order in her own home. But as soon as she comes over to our place, no matter how clean it is, she manages to find fault! How do I tell her, she needs to STOP, without sounding rude or crazy!

That is typical of MILs, so do not tax yourself thinking too much about her. My MIL keeps her house in such a mess and when she comes over to our place, I wonder in what capacity she speaks about this thing dirty or that thing dirty at my place. I think, listen from one year and let it pass through the other. Do not let her nick-picking affect your mental peace. You can talk it over to your husband about how funny she behaves and feel a little light at heart. They will anyway go, so let it pass.

my dear, you are married to an Indian family, so i am sure you know this is a typical MIL mentality. i would say please ignore it if possible. if it gets out of hand and she really gets on your nerves, tell her very sweetly and say you are impressed with her housekeeping skills, so now that she is here, in her own son's house, she should think of it as her own and keep it clean the way she does back at her place.

Sounds tricky. Could you ask your husband to help clarify what exactly is bothering her? Otherwise, how about bringing her out more often so that she will not be in the house to fuss over the way things are? It could be that she is simply bored. Ask if there is any classes that she is keen on and sign her up for it? Not sure if these will help but hope it gives your some inspiration... Take care!

i would suggest that u turn a deaf ear to what ur mil says. when my mil finds fault with me, i say 'hmmm' in a polite way n smile. then i turn and leave. no need to quarrel or argue. it appeases her as she will think that I listen to her. i just let her say. but when she's done, i leave and do my own things. sometimes u will never b able to please them so don try!! zen

Let her do the cleaning if she wants to. Tht way u get to do other things. If she's such a cleanliness buff then no matter how much u scrub around, it will never be clean as per her standard. So best alternative is that you stop and let her do it if she wishes to. Focus ur energy on other things. By doing this u will neither be rude nor crazy....

I'll just give her the polite smile and nod. When she does not get a response, she will either (1) continue nagging to her heart's content but it'll be to a wall, which is more to allow her to vent her frustration. You can get your peace, quiet and happiness when she has left your place or (2) keep quiet since she's not getting a response.

Like what the above say, i will turned off the ear and knock my head. After all, she don't stay with you too. Whatever she say, on spot you quickly anyhow touch up a bit and knock head and walk away. Maybe pretend to feed baby milk or whatever and went to room, hide awhile also good, hide a few minutes of nag away too.

Tell your husband what is bothering you, and let him handle this and convey it to her mother in his own way that how you get hurt when she pinpoints everything not being okay in the house. Or whichever way he thinks it is fine to handle the situation. I suggest, MILs take everything RUDE if it is spoken by DIL.

Just smile or nod whenever she points out anything that doesn't meet her standards. Don't stress yourself and just let it pass. Because no matter how polite you say it, sometimes MIL will still misinterpret what you mean and may cause a bigger issue.

just let her nag, once she is done you don't need to do anything. patience and tolerance can keep the peace.