My mother in law is so controlling! She constantly tries to exert her control when it comes to the household - we all live together. It is very difficult for me as I myself as quite controlling - but in this case I feel she is very possessive over her house/son/car etc! How can I manage my anger over her trying to control every situation?

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The instructor at the marriage course I attended back in the day told me that conflicts between MIL and DIL would happen 90% of the time. No one really knows the exact science to it but it never fails to happen each and every time, in most households especially if you live together. In Asian households, out of courtesy, we usually give in to the elders. But if it bothers you so much, speak up. No point botting up the emotions and get bitter. If you are not comfortable telling your MIL, make your husband talk to his mother. In terms of controlling your anger, I'd suggest the "let it go" technique. Let the words flow in and flow out if it's not useful to you. Keep the good, throw the bad. I know it's easier said than done but I find this technique very soothing and works the best for me.

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Personally, I feel that there is no easy way about this. If moving out is not an option, I suggest you just keep your cool. Let her be the queen bee and just give in to her. Try to maintain your composure in front of her. What works for me is to keep a diary to vent my frustrations. Sharing with husband or close friends (who understand you) may also help. The important point is to have an outlet to express yourself (sharing on ParentTown works too!) so that everything is not bottled up. It is definitely not easy but I guess it is more important to maintain at least a cordial relationship with the in-laws. Hang in there! We will be here for you if you need a place to vent!

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8y ago

talk to your husband and see if he can lay some ground rules about boundaries with your MIL. it takes time for old people ton get used tons new routine or acceptance. honestly, I am facing same issues as you. I chose not to be confrontational , stay out and come home later than usual. i kept my cool at home, and continue to be polite although sometimes in my heart I will swear a little. I have friends that I can rant to freely, and also to my husband. truth be told, I cant wait to get out of h

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