Helper

I also just engaged a helper in mid Feb 2020. Mainly is help in little one and housework as I'm having 2nd bb. But realised she's more proactive in caring for my 17th mth bb than housework.. she will try to play with my bb as long as she can. Sometime she even tell us bb wants her when he whine... she even walked into our room to try to carry out bb when she heard him wake up even when we are still in the room. Aft dinner, she will just sit in the living room with all of us even though both me n my hub wan to bond with my bb. So we have to constantly find things for her to do and ask her to learn cooking from YouTube. Her cooking not very good. Everytime cook same food. Everything my son wants, she will try to help, hold on to him when he climb on his slide etc. I told her dont keep on carrying or holding on to my son. Coz we have mat all over living room so even if my son fall, it won't be painful. I want my son to be more independent. Coz helper always sit around with my son in living room and nothing much to do for housework or rather she not auto to find work to do lah, so she also gaining quite a fair bit of weight over the past 5 mths... kept on snacking and eat meat. Coz she only have veg in her hometown.. we always have extra biscuits in cupboard in case hungry and we told her she can eat if hungry but she ever finished up our biscuit without leaving any for us, so my hub say her... According to my neighbour who always have helper, she said must keep on constantly remind helper what to do and how to do things properly so that they will not anyhow...

Agree with Jas. My helper initially does that also. Initially she will want to take baby away whenever my hubby or I are carrying or playing with baby. We will politely reject her or ask her to clean something else first while we play with baby. After a while she does not take baby away from us and will wait for us to pass baby back to her or auto go do other chores. My guess is that she thinks it is her job so she would want to take care of baby all the time and fear that if we are taking care of baby we would think she is not doing her job.

It does sound like you have a good helper. Do communicate with her on your expectations and what you want her to do and not to do. You can politely reject her offer to carry your baby and say that you will pass to her when you work later. It’s inevitable if your baby wants your helper more than you next time since your baby will be facing your helper most of the time. But don’t worry. Babies will always know who their mothers are! Do lots of skin to skin contact, talk and play with your baby whenever you are free.

It is good that your help lives your baby and is loving to her. Can try to communicate with your helper, maybe set up an arrangement that she only helps with baby when you're at work. When it's off work, even when baby cries, let her focus on other housework while you tend to baby

Spend some quality time with you baby everyday eg. Feed, play, cuddle, read to him. Make it a routine. Your baby will love it and wait for you to accompany him everyday. Good to have a helper that know her responsibility than one that pretend dumb.

It'll help to let her know what your preferences are, otherwise she might not even know you don't like her doing those things

Can speak with her?