Helper

Mummies who have helper, can u share the roles of a helper? Does she take care of yr LO all the time (weekdays and weekends) or only when u are working? Does she do housework too? As now I am WFH, it is quite unclear to me as my helper takes care of my LO all the time and I only want her to take care while I am working, husband disagrees. Also walking to my PIL hse, my helper keep say she want to carry but I insist it is ok..if she carry den I'll be the one carrying diaper bags and stuffs, is this funny? 1st time hiring helper and 1st time mum so not too sure wad to expect. I am asking these as I am managing expectations so that helper does not take over the role of a mum. Thanks.

Anonymous

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Super Mum

You are the employer so feel free to set boundaries and do what you're most comfortable with. When you want to take care of your child, you should do it. For my helper her main task is to take care of the toddler because there are only few chores to do (light cleaning, laundry, sometimes cooking), and when she's busy doing her chores I'll step in to take care of the toddler. When I feel like it, I take small breaks during my wfh and help her with feeding, bathing, entertaining etc, but by default these are her job. If you offer help I don't think the helper or your husband have any reason to object? And just because she's taking care of your child doesn't mean she can replace the role of a mother, so don't worry about that :)

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4y ago

Hi from your other comments I feel like you should assert your position as an employer more, and let your helper know she's overstepping her boundaries. Technically if she's new she's still in a "probation" period (because you can still send her back to the agency during this time if I'm not wrong?) so she should be following your instructions. Maybe sit her down (together with your husband if necessary), it could be when you're giving her salary, and have a serious feedback talk. Tell her what she's been doing well, what can be improved, what you think she should stop. You can even offer a small reward if she improves so it motivates her. And if she really can't improve at all, say you would send her back. Good luck mummy.

Your helper should adhere to what you need to do. If you wanna take care of the baby while she does the hsechores, then she should follow. YOU set the rules, NOT her. Be firm otherwise she wont respect you. Of course don't be harsh lah haha. You should carry the baby outside and she carries the stuff. If you can carry some then carry some. She should listen to you. You need to bond with the baby more than her.

Anonymous

4y ago

Agree mummy, I should bond with baby more than her. Sigh my this helper is giving me troubles. She only started work on her 2nd week now, on the 1st week she keep requesting this and that, from food we should buy to her liking to buying her own necessities. Also, she kept taking baby away from me..I have rejected her too many times and getting tired like why can't she be automatic and know her place as a helper.

Super Mum

I think different families engaged helper for different reasons. It will be better if your husband and you can communicate the expectations and boundaries you all have for the helper. This would help each other to understand the purpose of having the helper as well

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Debby

🦸‍♀️ mama first, everything else later

4y ago

Tough leh. Your husband may not agree to the insights that mommies here share hahahahaha

Everybody hires their maid for different reasons. Most importantly, have a talk with your husband and just lay out your feelings and thought process while also listening to him and then come to a compromise if you both can’t persuade the other.

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