We have two helpers at home. One worked for 20 years for my in laws. She is bossy sometimes, like to gossip and bad mouth people sometimes. I started hiring another helper after we have kids. She would bad mouth the new helper to me if the new helper does not listen to her and help her with her work. At the same time, she likes to say bad things about me to new helpers. So much so that I sacked my ex helper who is of different nationality as the experienced helper. Recently we hired a new helper who is of the same nationality as the experienced helper at home. Apparently the new helper listened to her and helped her a lot. And I suspects she say bad things about me to the new helper again. But I have no evidence of cos. So why would she say bad things about me? Coz I quarreled with her on how to take care of my babies before. She always think she’s more experienced and wanted to do things her way. And she got more work to do when I was pregnant as I was asked to stay home by Gynae. I won’t fire the experienced helper as I’m not the employer. And my in laws are very easy going people. Will u bother to tell your new helper to just focus on her work and not to gossip and listen to the old helper? But I doubt it’s effective. I told my helper to inform me everything about my baby. But she didn’t tell me anything when I was there the whole afternoon. Instead, she told my mil when she came home. Seems like old maid say bad things about me and that’s why new maid is scared of me. Haiz. I really don’t like the old bird.

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I won’t tolerate if the new helper doesn’t listen to employer or household members. I know helpers will direct report to the employer if anything. Are you the employer of the new helper ? If yes, she should listen n report to you. Since she report to in law. I would suggest have a discussion with in law n the new helper together. Let in law know that new helper must report to you about baby’s routine n everything . Also about quarrel issue, let your in law knows without any helpers there. Let them know how u feel. Do you have cctv recording? If possible, record every of their convo. Have evidence. I’m sure new helper is scared of you. Cos she jz started. Maybe can try to communicate her more 1-1 if she’s your helper. I have a helper too. I told her in the beginning , do not trust or listen to neighbours maids or gossips around. Once you get close, they even will borrow money from you n such. Indeed, she went to buy prepaid card, she report to me that some maid ask her for money in the store. I also told her, I respect you , you also do the same. Everything if you don’t know, just ask me first. If you do something wrong, you admit I’m ok. Don’t secretly do things behind me. ( first year I always have discussions with her )

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I cannot stand bossy helpers.