Stopping adoption process

Hi Mummy, If you really don’t feeling giving up on your baby girl then go fight for it, don’t cry for it. Prior to that you need to calm down and ask yourself and think through it carefully. Are you willing to sacrifice your time, leisure, money that can exchange for your needs and wants for your girl? Don’t belittle a mummy love and determination. The challenge is there but it’s feasible. If your answer is yes, then continue reading the rest of the message. Family members are people whom love and care for you, below are my guess of their possible and logical reason that might cause the disagreements: 1) Age of you and your bf 2) Financial status of the both of you 3) Marital status of the both of you, you mentioned bf means not married. 4) Lodging issues 5) Dissatisfaction with your bf Identify which are concerns they have and come up with some plans. Before speaking to your family, you need to convince your bf first. Money is something that can be earn it’s only how to earn. In the midst of the pandemic, there are still job opportunities around for example MOH are recruiting part timers for the Covid situation etc. Your bf must be convince to continue this journey with you, sometimes guys tends to be nervous or unsure when such situations a raise. Providing for a kid is not just throw lots of enrichment or material things (toys, clothes, parties etc), you raise a kid with love, morals, value and education. After convincing your bf, address your family concerns one by one. Give them an answer or assurances to each of their concern, it’s not just talking but have certain plans too. Concrete and feasible plans. With that they might budge a bit , you might not be able to address to all concern but with a level of acceptances you might receive their helps along the wAy, which is definitely a bonus. With regards to candidates and agency for the adoption they should be the least of your concern. Don’t carry this baggage to make your decisions. But of cos if after considering and you feel that you are physically, mentally and financially not ready. Sometimes loving is also about letting go. Take care.

Hello, This is really a difficult decision to make and I can tell you really love your baby girl alot.. :( sometimes loving may also mean letting go, although it's so painful, but you are being a good mother by putting your baby's welfare first. Put aside the pain for awhile and consider in the long term if you are able to provide for your baby girl, financially, emotionally, physically. Parenting is not jus 1 year 2 year, it's for life. Are you able to provide a warm happy home for your baby girl, give her a good education, good memories and all the love in the world? If you are, then go for it! Keep your baby and be the best mum u can be. But if you know deep in your heart that u can't because of all the instability in your life, then u may have to make the hardest but most loving decision. Adoptive families are vetted very thoroughly by agencies, they are usually very stable, emotionally, financially, have alot of family love and support. Because they have been waiting so long for this baby, they will love the baby alot alot. And there are adoptive parents who are even willing to maintain contact with the birth mother. Send birth mother pictures every year, even meet ups! Perhaps u can work out some arrangement with them? Whatever decision u make, I believe it will be the right one because u are a loving mummy. Lots of love and hugs

Hi Mommy, I can’t give much advice on this as its a very hard decision but a few mommies have given you scenarios cases that you can take note as it is the important factor. Nobody can make decision for you as you know yourself and your feeling the best. Just remember, never live in regret as there is no second chance. However, I would like to say if you have decided to keep the baby, let me know, I can pass u my baby girl’s stuffs if you don’t mind. My baby girl is 9months old. So you can PM IG me @Stainlessjo Although me and my hubby not say “super”financial stable but we don’t spend much on ourselves after knowing baby is on the way out and after she’s born. So our expenses is more on the baby only. I taking care of the baby alone as both of our parents do not have much experience and they are old too. So I can tell you it is not easy . Baby rely a lot on you and more clingy to the mommy too. So you must be prepare for the mentally and physically energy drain, so u must also ensure that your partner will be there to help you out too else you will breakdown some day. Cheer up girl, I hope and pray that you will come out with an answer. Let’s say if you proceed with adoption, u can make agreement with the adoptive parents of letting you to get in touch with your baby girl.

hi mama, sorry to hear about ur story :( i believe being a mum means putting the welfare of your child before your own. you mentioned that you and your partner were not able to provide for your baby, are things better now? do consider that you'll have to be able to give your baby a full and happy life where she will be provided for holistically for many years ahead to come. unfortunately, "winging it" is not enough if u want to seriously raise a child. as much as we have a gov who provides for low income families, sometimes it's just not enough either :( not to mention, your mental health will greatly suffer too and it will definitely affect the way you bring your girl up. on the bright side, i do know a few couples who decided to raise their child despite their struggling financial situations. they did receive lots of help from family physically and financially though. so if you do want to keep her, maybe make it a point to sit and have a chat with both you and your partner's parents and be sure you'll both be supported along the way. it's very important to have support from family especially parents if this is going to work! take care and all the best!

Hi, so sorry to learn of your predicament. you need to consider how you will be providing for your child in different stages of her life. She will be most dependent in terms of care during her early years 0-7. since you are working full time, and your family is not supportive, you need to consider who will be looking aft baby while you work. Infant care centres in Singapore are not that cheap. Check how much you need to spend monthly aft subsidy to plan your finances. Not everybody walk the same path, whether you get married to ur bf or not it is not the main point. Think abt why your family oppose ur relationship with him so much. is he abusive, not working, or any other serious issues? You need to consider how you will care for your child if one day the father is not in the picture. whatever decision u make is a good decision from the baby's perspective, just that with adoptive family, she might find more stability. you have to make a decision and accept whatever it is. there is no going back, so keep looking forward. Wishing you all the best!

I’m sure given the choice you wouldn’t want to give up your girl for adoption. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. Whatever your decision is, always prioritize baby’s welfare and interests first. Objectively speaking (no offence ya) You had your share of, in a sense, being “selfish” when deciding to take the risk of getting pregnant in an unstable relationship. If you decide to cancel the adoption process, (1) do you have enough bandwidth financially and emotionally to give to a child? Raising a child is not easy for a new mother and (2) how stable is your relationship with bf now? What will be the shared/joint arrangements like financially and daily living between you and him? Is he a reliable source of emotional and financial support for you and baby? Must think through the practical and rational stuff to ensure you’re not just making an emotional decision to keep your girl. It’s difficult for any mother to have to go thru this but it’s for the best interest at heart of your girl. Take care!

If you're having even .01% of confusion, listen to your Mommy heart and keep your baby. You'll find a way and you'll be an amazing mom. You are thinking and worrying about all this, proves that you are a loving mom. I won't promise that it's gonna be easy but who said motherhood is easy? It's a bumpy ride but it's all worth. You'll have to adjust your life on so many fronts.. cut down on expenses, sacrifice sleep and comfort, baby will be priority from now on and many more. so think about all these as well. You can empathize with the adoptive parents but you definitely have the first right to keep your baby if you decide to. even if ýou decide otherwise, you won't be a bad mom so don't feel guilty about it. You're going to give her a good future :)

It's never easy to give up your own child especially when you really want them. If you can't bear to give her up for adoption, don't as it will be a life time regret that will follow you forever. Though the road ahead of you seems uncertain if you were to keep her, if you have the will and determination, you will be able to fight your way through. Source for all sorts of help you can get, like example there's a fb group that donate hand me down for kids of all age group, government support or such. Do adjustable to your lifestyle, manage your financial & do whatever is within your means. Don't be afraid to reach out for help as long you are not someone who takes kindness for granted. Hope things work out for you & your family. Stay strong!

Hi mama, I’m here to say: go with your gut and do YOU! If you love this baby like you sound like you do, you’ll make it work, regardless of circumstances. However, just bear in mind that the decision comes with responsibility that cannot be returned. It will be tough but I always believe that we can do anything we set our minds to. My heart goes out to you mama. Whatever you decide, make sure you think of everyone involved - yourself, your boyfriend and most importantly, that precious little life that you’ve birthed.

Hi, This is a really tough decision to make and there are no wrong answers. Don't feel pressurised into either choice due to the feelings of the adopters or your parents. To avoid getting caught by the emotions of the moment, maybe take a step back and imagine yourself 10 years down the road. What type of lifestyle do you have, what are your regrets, and what would you advise your current self?