Stopping adoption process

Hi mummies, I just birthed my baby girl few days ago on Aug 2021. I had planned for her to go for adoption for the longest time due to disagreements from family and that my boyfriend felt we were unable to provide for her. I have always wanted to keep her but I have no choice but to send my baby girl for adoption. My adoption was through an agency and private - not under MSF. I cried so hard signing the affidavit to give up my child for adoption and was threatened I will be disowned if I kept the child. I have been thinking for a few days and crying nonstop thinking about my newborn. I am thinking if I should just stop the process and get my child back, get disowned and wing it with the support of my boyfriend or just accept my fate and tell myself it's for the better as the adoptive parents will be able to provide for her. I feel bad for the adoptive parents who probably prepared for her arrival and wasting the adoption agent's time.. But I can't stop thinking about her and crying over her. Please advise or give opinions and not be so harsh. #advicepls #pleasehelp #firstbaby

Anonymous

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I’m sure given the choice you wouldn’t want to give up your girl for adoption. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. Whatever your decision is, always prioritize baby’s welfare and interests first. Objectively speaking (no offence ya) You had your share of, in a sense, being “selfish” when deciding to take the risk of getting pregnant in an unstable relationship. If you decide to cancel the adoption process, (1) do you have enough bandwidth financially and emotionally to give to a child? Raising a child is not easy for a new mother and (2) how stable is your relationship with bf now? What will be the shared/joint arrangements like financially and daily living between you and him? Is he a reliable source of emotional and financial support for you and baby? Must think through the practical and rational stuff to ensure you’re not just making an emotional decision to keep your girl. It’s difficult for any mother to have to go thru this but it’s for the best interest at heart of your girl. Take care!

1 more comment

EL W

4y ago

Wow, I’m touched to hear that you and bf have decided to marry and try and work things out. Even if eventually things don’t work out, will your soon to be husband be committed enough to still financial support your child? If answer is no, are you prepared to work 2-3 jobs a day just to bring food to the table for your daughter? And without you around at home, who will be there to care for your girl? Will she feel insecure because you’re not around her as you need to earn money? Honestly, very few parents in the world is so heartless as to disown their own child…just like now you’re having a change of decision, you nv know one day your parents may be your greatest help. Of course it’s still important to plan for the worst case scenario…get social services help meantime financially too. If your parents or bf parents can provide some form of help, that will be a bonus.

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