Get A Helper Or Be A SAHM?

I'm 32 this year. I'm torn on whether I should leave my job to take care of my baby or get a Helper instead. Do you enjoy taking care of your child and watching them grow, or do you prefer to be financially stable(having your own money) since SG is not exactly cheap? And if you get a Helper, do you regret not having those times with your baby?

19 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply
Super Mum

I have 2 children and a full time job. I went back to work after maternity leave for my first child, and because my job’s really tough, sometimes I hardly saw her. When I got home at night (for 6 months of being a working mum), I would cuddle her and let her breastfeed for as long as she wanted, and during the night too. I missed her a lot while I was at work and relied on photos/videos sent to me. Of course, breastfeeding through the night meant I was always tired at work too, as I still continued to go early to pump milk, and carve out time through the day to pump, sometimes skipping proper meals. Missing milestones was hard, but getting through work days when my baby was sick at home was even harder. Another thing about her was that she rejected bottle feeding terribly for the first month, and would rather starve till I got home. That was heartbreaking. One of the hardest things for me was when I decided to stop breastfeeding. My husband had weaned her off night feeds and she slept through the night at about 11 months old, so she didn’t need to latch on when I got home anymore. I cried the last time I fed her, because I knew I would miss that bond with her, although I could rest more. Thereafter, I gradually had to get used to new roles I played as her mother — friend, counsellor, mediator— as she grew up. She got used to me working a lot, but I always tried to make full use of the time we had together. My first child loves me a lot and although she occasionally mentions she wants me to stay with her and not work, most of the time she’s very supportive, and welcomes me home excitedly when I’m back. I’m doing something differently with my second child. I’m currently on no pay leave, and planning to do so for some months. The past few months of being a fulltime mum has been crazy, tiring but so fulfilling! I will need to go back to work eventually, and it’s also not my personality to physically stay at home all the time, but I’m happy to make some sacrifices during this period because I feel this time with my baby and toddler is so precious, and I’ll never be able to have it again. Guess what? Baby #2 also refuses the bottle. Lol. So I’m glad my husband and I have more time to do bottle training and sleep training, etc, before I eventually go back to work. Sorry for the long post, but essentially, whether you choose to be a SAHM or working mum, it’s difficult both ways, and also fulfilling both ways. Whichever you choose, you can still be an awesome mum to your baby! I’ve had a lot of mum-guilt as a working mum, but I’m grateful my elder child has already reminded me time and again that there’s no need for it:) All the best to you!

Read more
4y ago

Thanks for sharing.. Yr child is very thoughtful and sweet. That goes to show that you have brought her up well😁

GET RICH WITH BLANK ATM CARD, Whatsapp: +18033921735 I want to testify about Dark Web blank atm cards which can withdraw money from any atm machines around the world. I was very poor before and have no job. I saw so many testimony about how Dark Web Cyber hackers send them the atm blank card and use it to collect money in any atm machine and become rich. {[email protected]} I email them also and they sent me the blank atm card. I have use it to get 500,000 dollars. withdraw the maximum of 5,000 USD daily. Dark Web is giving out the card just to help the poor. Hack and take money directly from any atm machine vault with the use of atm programmed card which runs in automatic mode. You can also contact them for the service below * Western Union/MoneyGram Transfer * Bank Transfer * PayPal / Skrill Transfer * Crypto Mining * CashApp Transfer * Bitcoin Loans * Recover Stolen/Missing Crypto/Funds/Assets Email: [email protected] Text & Call or WhatsApp: +18033921735 WEBSITE: https://darkwebonlinehackers.com

Read more

GET RICH WITH BLANK ATM CARD, Whatsapp: +18033921735 I want to testify about Dark Web blank atm cards which can withdraw money from any atm machines around the world. I was very poor before and have no job. I saw so many testimony about how Dark Web Cyber hackers send them the atm blank card and use it to collect money in any atm machine and become rich.{[email protected]} I email them also and they sent me the blank atm card. I have use it to get 500,000 dollars. withdraw the maximum of 5,000 USD daily. Dark Web is giving out the card just to help the poor. Hack and take money directly from any atm machine vault with the use of atm programmed card which runs in automatic mode. You can also contact them for the service below * Western Union/MoneyGram Transfer * Bank Transfer * PayPal / Skrill Transfer * Crypto Mining * CashApp Transfer * Bitcoin Loans * Recover Stolen/Missing Crypto/Funds/Assets Email: [email protected] Text & Call or WhatsApp: +18033921735

Read more

Me too in dilemma about this for quite a long time. I enjoy taking care of my baby but infant care really takes up most of my time and I’ve not been able to take care of myself. Every time I’m in lounge wear at home or laundry piling up, cold lunch on the table and can only eat at around 3pm if the baby gets cranky. So after comparing helper, ifc and nanny, i decided to put her to a nanny. Husband wasn’t very happy at first but I finally found some time of my own and go back to work. I don’t earn much but I can have some money for my personal expense and I gain a bit “self value” in my life. But some people do enjoy being a SAHM, so it’s up to you, if you want to be one or go back to work and earn $$ a few more years. Whichever is right for you :-)

Read more
4y ago

i feel you. it’s scary being a SAHM and also working and missing out on baby’s milestones and growing up moments. however i like to be self-sufficient so i will need to go back work so i have my own money. all the best to u, i think u made the right decision and have struck a good balance between being a mum and independence.

Super Mum

I love my baby but to be honest it is extremely tiring to spend time with the baby for a whole day, since you need to pay full attention to baby and cannot get anything else done. Plus to be honest it gets kinda boring 😅. I really admire SAHM because I really can't do it. It is a big sacrifice to devote yourself fully to your child, and while being a working mom is not easy either I feel it's better for my own mental wellbeing. Plus I don't think working means I can't be there for my child, I still spend time with her after work and fully on weekends and I guess it makes the time we spend together more special and precious. It is no easy choice so just want to give my perspective as a working mom but it's your own decision to make. Good luck!

Read more
4y ago

Yr right. Taking care of baby alone can get mundane sometimes. At the beginning, I was quite set to becoming a SAHM. However, my feelings got swayed after actually taking care of baby during my maternity. Honestly, I didn't know what to expect since it's my first time. I guess once I'm back at work, I'll test to see which works better for me. Thanks for sharing! ❤️

Just wanted to update everyone that I'm back at work for 2 weeks now.. On the first day, I did miss baby badly. But after that, omg, I felt a sense of relief as I got to go back to being more human(eat on time, bathe on time etc). I guess I'm not suited to stay all day with baby. I really thought that staying at home and care for baby all day was my final decision. Now I understand. My mental health got better after starting work. Not every mum is the same , so let's continue supporting each other with the different decision we make. Also, due to this virus, I got the chance to work from home while my mum cares for the baby temporarily while waiting for Helper. Thank u guys for the sharing and advises.❤️❤️

Read more

I got to know about Hack West after I lost 4.59BTC to an investment scam. I almost felt like taken my life by myself if not for the help of my best friend whom I had to open up to and gave me the contact info of Hack West. Yes West didn’t only recover the Bitcoin he also gave me the complete details of the scammers which I submitted to the cops. You too can email: hackwest at writeme dot com or WhatsApp: +1 (424) 307 2638 if you have similar problem.

Read more

I stayed home for 1 year to take own of #1. Finances wise is one issue. But my husband did gave me allowance. But the freedom of spending your own money is different plus the stress of a sahm is no joke. At 1 year I went back to work and my mom took over the care thereafter. But I changed workplace nearer toy mom's place. And I changed again when I placed her to cc so I can cut down the travel time from 1 hour to 30mins to 15mins

Read more
TapFluencer

I have the same thought before. My gf did it for her kids being a SAHM. You do not have time for yourself even if u are sick, u gotta be there. I do think is a good thing watching them grow and witness the milestones. But for me, I Guess I will go and work for money and also being independent and giving my child a better life.

Read more

I hope to be able to choose to be sahm, which is a blessing to have such an option. I cannot as am main source of income and earner for the family, hubby earn much less. He will never be this small and young again. I speak like these because i was cared by granny as parents had to work.