I am the writer for previous several posts indicating my serious nervous breakdown on the scary fears of contraction and delivery labour pains. My mum in law understood my fears & worried I am having a mental breakdown or severe depression which I am facing seriously lately! I told her directly I may want to go for C-sect with epidural delivery even if my baby is not in breech position. Because I heard from 2 friends that their C-sect's wounds are not really very painful after delivery. If painful, just take painkillers to ease. I don't know how true though. But my mum in law "insisted & psychoed" me to go for normal delivery with epidural. She told me the contraction & actual labour pains were ok to deal with which can be tolerated. But my pain threshold is extremely low. Then she also told me the wound (vagina tear or the cut due to episiotomy) wouldn't hurt as much as the big wound caused by C-sect op. She asked me: "Is it you want to have any excruciating pains from a C-sect wound? And do you know if the wound is not cleaned well, then will have infections too? Is that what I want?" She has her own points, makes sense and concerns too. She sounded really upset when I told her my current decision about C-sect with epidural and she told me very FIRMLY twice: "Ok I don't care which delivery method you used as long as my grandchild (gender unknown yet) is safely delivered! I just want to have a healthy grandchild that's all!" What should I do? She really wants me to go by natural delivery badly & maybe I want C-sect because I really don't want to experience contraction, dilation & actual labour pains! Of course I don't mind trying normal delivery with epidural as long as the anesthesia effect can last from contraction pains till full actual delivery (pushing out of baby). Pls advise mummies! Thanks!

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Im mommy of 3 kids and all delivered through caesaraen, the first delivery was actually emergency caesaraen not elective cause i wanted to do normal birth actually but after induced if im not wrong twice it only dilated up to 4-5cm and it has been 20 hours (felt the contraction and went to hospital at around 5am when my waterbag burst ) and it was almost midnight my gynae told me to go for emergency csect and one of the reasons was baby already passed motion inside so my first delivery was quite terrifying cause when my baby was out there were no signs of baby crying and i was told they mention code blue or something so i started to panicked but right after few minutes i heard my baby cried so i felt a sense of relieved that my baby girl was fine😅 got to know my baby had consume her faeces so that was not a good sign. To cut short my long story telling, i couldn't delivered normal due to fibroid issues that was blocking the passage way for baby to come out, it was about 6cm long, so i cant do normal until i removed my fibroid first and thank god during my 3rd caesaraen the one who delivered my baby told me they had to removed my fibroid as it was blocking when they wanted to stitch up my wound back so i dont have to go separate operation just to removed my fibroid. Save my $$ also! 😂 As for now i dont plan to have more kids eventhough i can do norm delivery now cause my children are all a year gap difference and its already chaotic enough for me😂anyways dont worry about the pain, if you really cant stand the pain just opt for epidural i know first time delivery is frightening but im sure u can overcome this, just think of looking forward to see ur baby and dont think of the pain, if u can afford private delivery ward like 1 bedder would be betta, they will provide betta care and service. Btw just my opinion to me norm delivery heals faster than caesaraen and as for norm the pain is more intense during delivery but for caesaraen is after delivery and it took me about 3 months for my swollen pain below my adominal to go away and no longer feel pain. At the end of the day its ur choice i mean at this point of time u should take care of your feelings first instead of others😉

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Hi I think you should focus on the joys of pregnancy more and try to stop thinking about the pain of child birth. The previous generations have different standards of medical services so try not to base your decision on their experiences. My mom told me horrible stories about how painful it was and she had a big episiotomy(vaginal cut) which did not heal well. I gave birth during Dec 2015. Weeks before I gave birth I also worry about the pain but I was sure i wanted natural birth due to the good effects it has on the baby. And c sect actually has more risks than natural birth. If you take epidural you won't feel much pain at all. I myself went to induce birth and took epidural shortly after. From 7am to 5am I did not feel any contractions pain and the only pain I felt was the nurse poking the IV drip. However due to complications I needed to have a c sect. My experience is c sect wound is very painful. It heals slower than a vaginal cut and hinders your normal activities for the first two weeks. Even getting up for breasffeeding and wearing my underwear in the first week was uncomfortable as the cut is at the area whereby you will feel the pain as long as you bend or lift your legs. My frens who have episotomy all said it heals within a week. That said the decision is still yours. No matter which way childbirth will have some pain be it during or after the birth. You are already very brave to come so far since pregnancy itself comes with some discomfort and poking of needles at times. Just try to focus on having a healthy baby and being a happy mom ok.

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Hi, its your birth, so its your story, your decision. I believe that every woman should be empowered to make her own childbirth decisions. I think this is key so that she doesn't look back and regret. I would suggest you research and find out more about vaginal births and c-sect to make that decision. Not just the pain factor for each option but the risks and health impact it has on you and your baby. I'd like to recommend you to check out HypnoBirthing. It is an antenatal childbirth programme which teaches mothers self-hypnosis techniques so that they can achieve a calmer and more relaxed birth whichever birth method they choose (vaginal or c-sect). The course also equip the birth companions (your husband) with knowledge and techniques on how they can support the birthing mother. If you are interested, you can PM me or check out my fb page, www.facebook.com/AyanaBirths , I am a certified HypnoBirthing Childbirth Educator. :)

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Honestly, what your Mil said is correct. If you choose csec, you will have to be really very careful with your wound. Csec wound is bigger than normal delivery wound. My tolerance level of pain is also very low. But I delivered normally without epidural because I want to try the pain. From the contraction till delivery, it's just like menstruation cramp but is painful abit more. To me, I will advise for normal delivery with epidural if you are really scared. Because csec, you couldn't move around normally and also for quite sometimes you can't carry heavy things. Not to scare you but if you imagine you give birth to a baby of 3++kg, and when it reach 2-3 months the baby weight became 6++kg then you will have difficulties carrying him/her. At the end of the decision is yours. So if you still choosing csec, talk to your mil nicely (: Good luck mummy!

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5y ago

yes! csec would be more painful after affect.and u have to take care of wound and cant walk much unlike normal.if u dun wan expreince pain just str8 go for normal epidural. i gave birth to my child normal epidural took epidural at 5cm cause of pain but after i took epi everything was woa i could relax sleep and when ure pushing doc will off epidural and trust me the next contraction will come is not the pain is when every cobtraction come u have to push once come and push. is like a game u see u have to relax and when u feel contraction u puuussshhhh... not pain at all..mine was a big bby 1st 3.8 2nd 4.6kg normal birth no tear no pain even after delivery.hope this helps

Hi there. Im currently pregnant as well. This will be my first time. So i cant really advise on this. Just wana tell u to not worry so much. The more u worry, the more scared u will feel. Lets enjoy the joy of growing a human inside us. Either ways, c sect or natural birth.. There will be pain somehow. Childbirth is not easy, i heard. But i know for sure and everyone will agree that is going to be worth it. Dont panic ya. U r not alone. We are all scared too. Even i am scared. But for our child, we can do it ya? Relax and choose whichever u r comfortable with. Other people opinion doesnt matter. It will be great if u have a moral support from ur partner.. Maybe u can get him to talk to ur mum in law. It will make it less difficult for u. Take care and be happy.

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I have gone through 2 ND, without and with epidural. With the Epidural its really more relax, i had more than half the Epidural left after delivery, meaning birth was fast and really pain-free. With ND, i was able to walk and visit my baby in the nursery, both baby had jaundice, after delivery the next day. Agree that for a first time mom, child birth is scary but child rearing is even more scary. I remember for Baby#1, l wanted C-sect also, but was stubbornly holding on until the last minute for ND. Trust your instinct and your doctor's, if there really is no health implications involved try the ND with Epidural and you can save yourself a pot of cash for baby's needs and a beautiful tummy too.

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i also agree about the csect wound thing.. the contraction is yes, it does feel pain but is nth compare to wound.. plus u have to care for baby after birth.. i also have low threshold of pain but i experience contraction pain and opted for epidural after dilation of 5cm.. and first is also induced.. for my 2nd one, i go without epidural natural and endure the contraction for almost 5hours only.. due to my first experience on contraction which made my 2nd experience easier.. even when the tear on vaginal and stitching also wont hurt too much.. u can bear contraction until a certain cm then ask for epidural.. i only had one epidural that time..

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Sorry that you are that frightened of giving birth. It's honestly not that bad. The next time you feel stressed try relaxation breathing: Lie down comfortably on the floor or your bed. Be sure to use pillows to prop yourself up, if necessary. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Breathe in slowly through your nose for a count of four. Pay close attention to your stomach rising as you gradually fill your lungs with air. Hold for one second. Breathe out slowly through your nose for a count of four. Repeat for 3-5 minutes. Practise daily.

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truth from me. mother of 5. 1st 2nd normal birth without epi. only at the moment before baby coming will feel stomache. (abit like diahrea but x10) after baby come out, u dont feel any pain. not even stitching pain. can walk few hours later after going back to room. 3rd4th5th csec with epi. only feel the pain when the 1st moment you need to come down the bed on 2nd day. 1st day need to stay in bed. different person will have different pain threshold. and hear from many say... gynae stitching skill also very impt

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Hello. Maybe you can try talking nicely to her or ask your hubby to talk to her. I understand old people or MIL tends to ask for normal delivery. I used to have the same problem but choice is ours we got to be firm. As long as delivering baby safely, the methods are not a problem. If baby too big also no choice got to Csec or if the head is too big also need csec. sometimes its not up to us to decide. After all you are the one who deliver a baby and not her. So make your own choice wisely.

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5y ago

Sorry to ask... do you know the vagina will open till it is big enough for you to push the head out... I didn't use epidural for the first 6 hours then after that use epidural... epidural will help to minimise the contraction by 98% I think compared to the feeling before epidural... I pressed the dose when I feel the pain... second 6hrs I pressed a couple more doses and I slept throughout until my hubby wake me and say doctor is coming... I pressed another dose before they removed the epidural... so the pain came not during pushing but because the head was too big and got stuck... I keep pushing till I depleted all my energy (pain was like menstrual pain where I could not stand l, that kind) and even they do sewing also cannot feel anything as if the bottom has became numb already... so no need to worry about the pain so much... Actually before I go for delivery, the scan already told me he got a big head... but I didn't expect to get stuck and in the end after pushing so much sti