I suspect my mother in law is sabotaging my relationship with my husband. She's very two faced and likes to twist everything I say. But she's very nice in front of me. What should I do?
This is a common mommy son affiliation issue... These kind of moms never let their sons grow up.. The pampering is continuous and that too to a heinous extent. Im sure your mum in law knows that you do not like it when you support your husband for the wrong things. And she deliberately does it.. Well try doing a one on one talk with her on the issue. If she is ready to respect your point of view good, if not-then when she makes you feel like an outsider, there are many things you could resort to like:- a) Outsiders don't do much housework... Show her a subtle form of revolt. Comtribute as less as possible. b) Remind her that you are the better half and what you say matters and will matter. Be stern c) Shower your hubby with more love and affection and try and change him with that... Automatically mom in law's influence will go down.. Hey btw Im suggesting options here . Its finally your pick!! :)Read more
I know how you feel :( recently there was a heated discussion over me keeping my name after marriage and she was not pleased. I told her it will be an administrative nightmare to change my name and that it can cost a lot. She chose to ignore that part and started with the emotional guilt tripping. This happened at a dinner party where there were other guests. I just smiled the whole way through and complained to my partner after. He offered to talk to his mother for me but I told him, if it happens again (which I know it will), I'd confront her for it. She was never like this before, dunno what changed but I reckon it's alot to do with the possibility of me and my partner uprooting and moving away after the wedding. I always try to be the classy one and let things slide but I'm close to the boiling point haha. Before that happens, I hope that I get to air my opinions civilly.Read more
I suggest that you sit down with her. I know it is not always easy to blend in and please in-laws but you need to still put your extra effort just so your relationship could be better. Ask her, in the calmest and sincerest way possible, why is she acting that way. Ask her if there is something wrong that you did or what she doesn't like about you and what she thinks you should improve on. Raise the issue with your husband, too. He needs to know because he help you with all the advices you'll need on how to deal with your mother in law. Tell him that you are not happy about how she treats you but you are eager to put extra effort just to win your MIL's heart. Tell him how important keeping a good relationship with your in-laws is and that you really want to solve this dilemma.Read more
This is a very tricky situation. When my MIL behaves like this, I will normally question her directly why did she twisted what I said. After a few times, she knows she can't play 'fire' with me and she finally stops doing it. I feel proper communication with MIL and let MIL understand my expectation is very important, i.e. do not backtalk of me in front of my husband. I also raise the concerns to my husband and my husband understands the actual situation.Read more
Confront lo. You cannot take s*** from anyone, especially family. It would be damn messy at first, but at least its 'out'. You know what I mean? All these behind your back mind games wouldn't work after its out in the open. But trust me, gonna be s*** for a while, after that it will balance out. It's tough la, but what to do. How long you want to look behind your back to check if got knifeRead more
I think you should always confront your mother. You can speak to your husband about it. But at the same time you will have to be very cautious about how you are putting across the words, as she is his mother and since it is taken for granted that wives turn the equations for bad after marriage, so you have to careful how you explain things to your husband.Read more
It is best to discuss this matter to your husband and let him handle it. However, you need to have proof that your mother-in-law is really twisting what you say. Without proof, it's your word against your MIL.