Husband or me at fault?

Husband doesn't like the idea & don't allow me to bring baby to visit my grandparents due to the virus. He feels thats my grandparents should come over instead. I explain to husband that I needed some 'me time' & 'personal space' but he doesn't understand. He even feels that I am not thinking right, why am I putting baby to the risk. He allows me to go back to grandparent's place w/o baby. How can he separate us like that? The last time I brought baby back to grandparents place was about a month ago. I just wanna seek outsider's opinion. Who is at fault?

8 Replies
 profile icon
Write a reply
Super Mum

I don’t think either person is at fault, honestly. I kept my baby home for >2 months and didn’t even allow visitors. I stayed home too, and my husband went out once a week to buy groceries. But he still accidentally brought home a bug that got her sick, despite all the precautions. It must have been a common virus, because my husband, elder daughter and I had no symptoms.. but it was a new bug to my baby, so it hit her hard. Really broke my heart to see her suffer for that week. Babies are so vulnerable. But you’re also being filial in wanting to visit your grandparents and wanting to bring baby there. And ‘me time’ is extremely important. Would you consider, since he said you can go visit without baby, just going anyway? It’s okay to be separated for a little while and letting him take care of her. Go spend time with your family and enjoy the personal time with them, so that the focus will also be on you and your grandparents. It’s a difficult time, and the elderly and young are the most vulnerable. I personally would rather keep everyone safe so that hopefully, we can all live well and meet more when all this is over. Take care yourself, too, dear ❤️

Read more

Everyone is at fault. With the virus still uncertain, if both of you play finger pointing, forever there is no end except ending in Quarrels after Quarrel. Instead of finger pointing and Endless quarrels, why not sit down discuss this with your hubby calmy together? Before this virus is completely eleminated, best that both your parents & your hubby parents do not go out of their house for visit baby. This should also apply to you, your little one & your Hubby as well, for the health safety sake of everyone. Why? Because it is for the safety and well being of everyone, Grandparents should understand this fundemental reason if they love their Grandchildren. This was the Common decision that I and my wife had reached together and we communicated this message to our parents ourselves (I inform my parents, my wife inform her parents after sitting down & discussing this together calmly, Only talk when both of you feel fresh and not exhausted).

Read more
VIP Member

No one is wrong or right in this case. Your point is both are at risk so young one should visit the elderly as they are old and might not be so convenient to travel. I can understand your feeling as I'm also in the same position to visit my parents. Your husband think children tend to be more asymptomatic so its best not to expose them. If they catch the virus, they can spread to people surrounding without knowing. If your grandparents is the one that catch the virus, at least they show symptoms and precaution steps can be taken.

Read more
VIP Member

I think both you and your husband have your own points. To be honest, your grandparents should be the ones who should be most worried and how can he expect your grandparents to come over instead? This is disrespectful. If he is so scared, does that mean that he will keep your LO at home and not bring out at all? There needs to be a balance somewhere. I would bring my LO over but make sure I sanitise and so on.

Read more

No one's fault. He is just protecting his baby. For the interests of your baby, it's better to ask your grandparents come over. But if you need me time, just go over on your own.

Both baby and grandparents can catch virus. Best to stay home and virtual meet. 😁

Best to video call for now ❤️

TapFluencer

Can go to his grandparents place then?

4y ago

Nope. His parents live in Hong Kong.