chronically ill and in pain spouse

My Husband is always in pain and I can’t cope. It’s been 4 years and his pain has been non stop. It’s fustrating. And he’s unable to chip in much into raising our child - and even when he does he acts like it’s the biggest most painful thing in the world. We both still work, so at least financially he’s not a burden. But he’s always in pain and we don’t go out much or have much of a life as he’s usually too sick or too tired to do anything. I know society doesn’t allow women to vent or be miserable with a sick spouse but I feel like this is not the marriage or life I envisioned for myself. I am still in my twenties and we have a small baby. I don’t plan to leave him. And I do love him. But I cannot imagine the next few decades stuck like this. It just feels so good just to write this. I would never tell friends or family what how I feel, lest I be seen as an uncaring monster.

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My husband also complains of pain and difficulty breathing so often I feel conflicting sympathy and frustration. So what you're feeling is normal. Doesn't make you a monster. Does he see a doctor for the pain? Dies he takes pain medication? Talk to him about your frustration. He should be aware of how you feel, that you think you don't have a partner in parenting. It may anger him but it may also help motivate him to look for ways to manage the pain better. Assurances also help, that you love him very much. When I told my husband about how I felt, it motivated him to work toward addressing his physical health issues. Because at the end of the day, we don't just want to be monetary providers for our young children, but also their social and emotional pillars through active play together and constant engagement.

Hi there, As much as you take care of your husband, it is important to take care of yourself. Please surround yourself with people who exude positive energy and can relate to your situation. Go to friends you feel free confiding in. It might also help to have your husband talk to people who have been through a similar situation as he is going through. It is unbelievable what positive energy can do to help someone's outlook on life.

I'm sorry for what u are going thru. one of the hardest to keep in marriage vows is "in sickness and in health". I admire u for staying on. please do take time for yourself - if only to keep your own sanity. also caregivers like u really need to take care of themselves first so to take care of another. it's like putting on the oxygen mask first before u put on your child's... stay strong fellow traveller ❤

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You are not a Monster for feeling this way. It’s very normal and I can feel your love for your spouse and your cry for help. I wish I knew what to advice you, the only thing I can say is hang in there and Prayer and meditation can really help to bring you centered again. Take care. We are all here for you and the one thing we promise is no judgement in this community.

I can really feel your pain. Living with someone with chronic illness can be emotionally and physically taxing for the partner. I can speak from experience. Sometimes going for counselling can help or creating some self-care ritual for yourself. Stay strong.

Is he seeking help for his illness? Hope he is. :) whatever it is, hang in there. You're a great partner and he is very lucky to have you by his side. Stay strong for both your husband and baby & keep praying for his recovery. ❤

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When you can’t give anymore - is when you need to give some more. Sorry it’s been tough.

Home Random Talk husband always in pain i t cope been 4 years pain has been non stop fustrating unable chip in much into raising child when does acts like biggest most painful thing in world both still work least financially not burden but always in pain dont go out much have much life usually too sick too tired anything i know society doesnt allow women vent miserable with sick spouse but i feel like not marriage life i envisio