Honestly speaking, which mother has never yell or raise voice at own kids?

No need to be anonymous.. I do sometimes raise my voice too. I’m generally quite patient with my daughter (3+ yo), but if she’s doing something dangerous or is being extremely defiant, I do need to raise my voice for her to listen. I believe we love our children very very much, and children do need to be disciplined in order to grow up well. I know that my daughter doesn’t have any psychological trauma with me scolding her, because of the conversations I have with her (we have many, where I explain to her in detail why she was reprimanded/punished, and she shares with me how she feels), and because I limit the voice raising only to the moment of defiance or during the dangerous act that needs to be stopped urgently. Outside of that, she receives hugs and a healthy amount of attention. As for your husband, he may feel that he wants to be the disciplinarian in the house, while you provide the caring and nurturing role. Actually, hearing what he said to you... I feel like he’s actually feeling guilty about his own way of handling his anger and disciplining your daughter, hence he doesn’t want even you to shout at her. He’s probably never apologised to your daughter for losing his temper, so this is how he’s trying to protect her from getting hurt emotionally. Truth be told, he needs to work on his relationship with her. In the meantime, don’t take what he says to you to heart, because I see that you’re really doing your best. At the same time, if you can, don’t need to be defensive against what he says. Say okay to his suggestion that you try not to raise your voice, and then make a suggestion that both of you be more conscious about how you speak to your little girl. Hopefully, both of you can also have heart to heart talks about how each of you feel. Because from a 3rd party perspective, I see that both of you love your daughter very much, and that’s always an excellent start to building relationships in your family ❤️. A valuable lesson I’ve learnt is that my daughter watches how my husband and I treat each ofher, and her security is based on our husband-wife relationship. So I hope you and your husband can talk things out, hug it out, and demonstrate what love is to your child. That’s one of the best things you can do for her 😊

I haven't really yelled at my baby yet because she's still small but I understand the need for it sometimes. For example when my baby's about to touch the electric socket I'll get scared and scream 😅 it's just a reflex and hard to control. I wouldn't agree to constant yelling and shouting at your kid as a disciplinary measure, but sometimes we need to be stern and that's totally fine. Your husband is imposing a weird double standard on you and you should call him out. If he thinks yelling is so bad then why is it OK for him to do it? Makes no sense to me.

I yelled before at my small baby once because he like to pee when I changed his pampers in the midnight. It make the bed wet and I have to change bedsheet. However my husband was the one that got frighten that time. he told me that he nearly got heart attack. So I promised him I won't yell at baby anymore, at least in the midnight. But too bad when he took over my role, he accidentally pulled the baby hand very hard and baby didn't want to "entertain" him for few days😂

I don't know any mother who has never ever raised her voice to her child. But discipline goes beyond just shouting though. As your kid is already 3 years old, she may respond better to reason now. I think your issues go way beyond just this. I saw you mentioned that your hubby doesn't love you anymore and that you are fearful of him. You both need to see if you can repair this relationship, children will notice strain between their parents and may act out accordingly.

I think it might be more to do with his personal experiences with his mum as a child cos seems like he’s unable to control his emotions as well. You might need to work out a way to communicate better with your kid though cos it seems like you and your hubby shouting doesn’t really seem to be helpful in “teaching” your child as yourself child is still naughty. So maybe find another way?

It’s human nature bah. Hard to control

yes tough to avoid