At first, I was not convinced about PPD, pero after a week of having my baby boy, I started to feel this. Ewan ko, I felt a lot of fears for my baby.
After knowing my jaundice sya, I can help but feel worried for him,
kada breastmilk ko sa kanya, nakakatakot baka di sya makahinga.
Kada iyak nya, I felt like baka my iniinda syang sakit.
I am worried, that I may not provide the best care for him.
Everything about him makes me cry of fear.
Tapos I started to feel pity for myself, for losing all the confidence, and not feeling beautiful.
I cry too when my husband is worried of our finances (kasi si mil ang nagsusuport sa amin while my husband is looking for a job, kasi he just had his MA degree; no issue kay MIL, si hubby lang talaga, ayaw nya financial support ni MIL).
Haaaaaay. Also, being a FTM, di pa nagsisink in na may anak na talaga ako.. Basta, its a weird feeling..
I pray to overcome this. I pray for those who felt the same, those who also have PPD.