What Is This Feeling?

Hello! ? I am a FTM. I just gave birth a week ago. My baby's mixed feeding. First of all, I'm a single mom. His dad left us for my friend when I was on my 3rd month. I grieve, of course, who wouldn't? But then, I was able to cope up with depression with the help of God, family, and friends. I was happy on the remaining months of my pregnancy even without his daddy. I was excited to see my baby and to be able to hug him and be with him. But I have a concern, every time I'm breastfeeding him, I'm feeling a vibe that I know is not healthy for me. It's like there are mixed emotions running thru my veins every time I'm feeding him. Fear, sadness, anxiety, happiness, excitement. I don't know exactly. I'm afraid. Every time I'm about to feed him, I'm getting nervous -- nervous of what I'm about to feel. Can someone please enlighten me? Am I the only one feeling this? What should I do? ?

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Ako nga grabe nang naranasan pait since niloko ako ng ama ng baby ko. Sakin lahat ng sisi kasi ako nga naman yung nabuntis. Di din kinilala si baby ng ama niya eh. Nag move on nalang ako at kinalimutan (pinipilit kalimutan ang lahat.) Dahil wala naman alam si baby eh anong pag alam nito napaka inosente pa nya para ibuhos sakanya lahat ng sisi at galit na ginawa sakin ng gago kong ex. Tbh kamukhang kamukha ng baby ko ama niya. Pero binabalewala ko lang yun at pinipilit na palakihin ng maayos si baby kahit mag isa lang ako. Sana makatulong tong kwento ko sayo. 😊

Magbasa pa

Do u feel hate when u feed your baby? Or your baby reminds of your ex?

4y ago

I dont feel any hate. Actually, I always talk to my baby every time I'm feeding him trying to ignore the negative vibe I'm feeling. :(