Ever after having baby, my relationship with my Husband worsen. My Husband is a mummy's boy, and he consult to his mum for everything! Even if my LO can be fed or not! He always mentioned that his mum is very tired because his mum take care of our LO at night but I do not feel appreciated as I have to keep pumping for more milk for my LO. It doesn't help when I went back to work 2.5 months pp. we are on the verge of divorce now... :(

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Hi, i am sorry to hear that you are facing such a situation. Some of my friends had their marriage really tested from the time that baby is born. But i think that a bobby will highlight underlying issues and these are issures that exist before baby was here and just made more obvious. Firstly i think that it is good and important for you to let him know that you need a cooling period and not hat he claims. I don't think you should consider divorce if him because that would give your baby an instant broken family from the first year on and its really not good for the baby. I think that you need to slowly psychology him that when a man marrying a woman, he needs to leave his hous and be joint to his wife. A bit biblical i would say but that is so important. Not the leave as in don't care but as in the authority. Have control over himself and over the household and don't always ask or rely on other people. Its definitely tough for his Mother to look after baby but its also tough on u to have a bf journey too. I think its issues in the marriage and if you need help, engage a marriage counsellor who can mediate and advise more and give constructive and practical advices. U know what kind of a man he is before you marry him so after marriage all things just gets worse and amplified. So work on the marriage, don't throw it in so quickly. Marriage is about commitment and always choosing each other even when u don't feel like it. In short, jiayou. Work on the marriage. Have a counsellor to mediate to get this ideas right and also to adjust ur expectations too because it takes 2 hands to clap

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Sounds like your husband is a mommy's boy, sorry about that. Marriage is hard , and it gets even tougher after a baby comes along. Ask most of the mommies here and they will tell you the same. We all think with a baby the family should be closer. But no with a baby you actually find husband more irritating!! Mine is like that for sure. Not helping out much, always telling me things to do based on his mothers advice and a busybody mother in law. But take a step back and ask yourself if these are really reasons enough to make you divorce him. It takes a lot of compromised and acceptance to make a marriage work. At times when I feel like giving up on my marriage I will tell myself to focus on how he is trying to improve his behaviour and also for the baby's sake. Have you sat down and talked calmly with your husband about these issues? Don't expect he will change overnight but hopefully he does improve . It is impossible to change someone else anyway. Try to focus on his positive points? I really don't like his mother to be involved in taking care of our baby as I know Many conflicts will arise. If you can try to avoid having his mom take care of baby for you. For me i also consider to put baby in childcare after I go back to work. My mother in law even told other people that she can fetch my gal home from childcare next time so we don't have to rush back from work and she can cook dinner for us. I outright rejected this and told my husband. If conflicts cannot be solved then we have to avoid them as much as possible

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5y ago

No you are not selfish. We all have our limits and for our baby we already sacrifice a lot. Living with his family and tolerating his mom. Yes we need to respect elderly and try to get along with them but frankly sometimes they are just too hard to get along with. A happy mommy makes a happy baby and a happy wife makes a happy family. Will you be able to move out on your own? There is no way I will want to live with my in laws because I know we will have conflicts and I will try to endure for pe

I feel you and I can't stand mummy's boy too! It's sweet when a son is thoughtful to his mum but when personal or simple decisions that can be decided between husband and wife yet have to consult his mum that is too overboard... Or maybe you can place your baby in infantcare and insist to take care yourself at night so that husband will not keep on bringing up his mum's good deeds right infront of your face? For breastfeeding part, I would say take less expectation and ask yourself why you breastfeed? Is for the health of your baby's immunity right. Not everyone will understand why you do this so you must strongly understand yourself more than how other people understand you.

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i think he is trying to be caring by asking advice from his mum, who he knows has already soem experience in raising kids. this is sometimes normal, and i am sorry that you guys are now on the verge of a divorce. have you discussed this with him? tell him you appreciate his concern and your MIL's help too but that there are some things that are disturbing you and that you need his love and support. be extra sweet and nice to him while talking about this. if this is the only issue you both have, trust me it can be sorted. baby will grow up in a few more months and then things will get better. if you two can be around for each other through this, the marriage wont end.

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Hey dear, jiayo!!!! Id say that he is trying his best to also care for baby. Why not have a good talk with him. In that way you can share with him your feelings. Im sure he means well for baby too. I wouldnt throw in the towel. Please reconsider, as the moms ab9ve mentioned seek help before taking the last resort.

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