Ever since my lo is born, my hubby changed. He is so over protective over our lo and it is now straining the relationship between my family and him. He becomes very rude to my mum who takes care of our baby. He forbid her from bringing her anywhere and throws the gifts she got for her away. But when he is with his mum everything he allow. Problem is his mum doesn't want to take care. I told him he shld not be rude to my mum but he says I'm siding my mum. What should I do? I'm at the verge of breaking down. My family wants me to divorce him as he is turning violent.
I think divorce should not be taken lightly but only as a last resort. Once divorce, there's no turning back and it's a pain for all members involved for a Long Long time to come. I think that it is normal for parents to want to be protective over their child (some are over protective) and is totally normal to have the tendency of siding your own Mother as opposed to your mil. I think you both have to talk about it and if need be consider family Counselling. There could be a chance that your husband is suffering from post natal depression (yes men can have it too - causing stress and for some they turn violent). It also sounds like he has a trust issue or he is not on good terms with respect to your Mother (that's why he doesn't allow she to bring the baby out or use the products) - so the baby is just a manifestation of the underlying family dynamics I think you guys should try to wok things out and see if you guys or he is able to seek help to curb his violence. Hopefully things can get worked out.Read more
hi there.. big hugz.. I'm so sorry to hear this. I agree with the above reply that you should seek counselling. Also, perhaps consider taking a short holiday or staycation just with you and hubby (without baby) such that you reconnect with him and take the opportunity to talk to him again. (Do this only if you feel safe enough to travel alone with him since you mentioned about his violence tendencies!) At a relaxed and neutral setting without the baby and your parents, he may be to hear your point of view, rather than get defensive. Regarding the point of violence, if he's turning violent towards you or baby, please make sure you have a safety bag packed with all your important documents (passport, bank books, baby's birth cert etc..) that you could quickly grab and go. Hope things work out for you and stay safe.Read more
Whatever decision u make u should think of the little one. Give it some time have a talk to him when he cools down. But do not resort to divorce.
Your situation is quite similar to mine. I understand how you feel. The best solution is to have a good talk with him. Don't think of divorce!
What did you do? Just having a chat? How did you build the bond back?