In-laws

Does anyone have issues with parents-in-law? My LO (currently 5 months old) is taken care by my MIL when me and hubby is at work. My MIL used to be a babysitter so she’s quite good at babies. However, she got her own set of pantangs and way of educating the child, which is very different from me. I don’t believe in pantangs at all. She doesn’t believe in what We say when we explain to her. For example, there was once baby did not poo for a week, she got so ganchiong and kept calling over the weekend telling us to try this try that. We already explained to her nicely that this is normal for BF babies but her mindset is stuck with need to poo Everyday blablabla. This is just one example. Another example is, she kept saying baby should start on solids now. Me and my husband’s take is to follow baby’s cues, we don’t have a definite to start solids at 4 months or 6 months. We did try a little puree but feel that baby is not yet ready for it. But MIL keep saying that should start alr. So irritating? Sometimes, this really irritates me and I want to send my baby to infant care instead. Is like, why must I explain what I’m doing to her and why she keep giving suggestions that I don’t want to hear. I have my own style in doing things and parenting. But my hubby refuses as infant care is expensive and he thinks it’ll be better for baby to be under grandma’s care. I do agree with him but I think it’s only for my sanity. ? Does anyone has similar experience?

128 Replies

Same case with me. I'm a nurse and I used to be in the pediatric ward. I worked with a lot of pediatricians so I know what to do with my baby when this or that happens but my mother in law keep is stuck with old beliefs. She wants me to raise my baby according to those beliefs. I am just so annoyed!

Totally relatable. I'm a registered nurse by profession but now a housewife. They have so many traditions and superstitious beliefs.

Discuss with your husband and ask your husband to convey the message to MIL. Politely let her know you have your preference of taking care of the kid. Eg. In the past, babies were fed with water but nowadays PD and all said no feeding of water until at least 6 months old. Whatever works in the past is different nowadays.

if u have so much issues about it. then suck it up and send to infant care. if not just deal with it and appreciate that ur MIL actually want to tc of ur baby. ever thought of that? it's not her job to. but she's doing it coz she cares. plus she alr took good care of ur husband since young. so she must be doing something right.

Super Mum

🙋🏻‍♀️ not yet even deliver baby already got the “why your pregnancy is different from my daughter’s...” I don’t spend much time with MIL so exposure is limited. Everyone is like that, not just MIL. Any friend / family who has had a baby will have their opinions. End up, you know your baby best.

Same goes to me..the great grandma (moyang) was trying to feed my 5months old baby boy with porridge. I insist no need to trouble themselves to do all. Me n my husband will prepare the solid food the time comes. So annoying that they always compares with their time😠. It’s my child by the way. MY BABY MY RULE

Sooo trueee

I have the same issues with my mil it's like she knows everything she put so much pressure on me in always used to tell my mom and complain to her but now I have to sort this out on my own as my mom passes away 3 weeks ago so I cnt ask my mom for advice now now it's like I must take my mils advice

VIP Member

Yes, I totally feel you! My husband treats his mum like a guru and follows all her instructions. I have no say at all even for my own daughter. Even bringing my daughter to see my parents, I will need to seek his permission. We always quarrel because of all these issues. Sigh...

If placed at infant care it’s indeed expensive and may come with different set of issues.. could be logistics, illnessess, etc.. you’d never know. Just tahan a bit until LO goes to childcare. See from positive side, others don’t have the privilege of choice of MIL or outside care.

It's normal, my wife and I sometimes have issues with our in laws. Use both hard and soft approach where apporirate for your situation. Like it or not, we always have to face our in law. Don't blow things up - give and take, compromise where possible. Am sure your in-laws will reciprocate.

I’m tempted to say that’s all mother in laws lol. Mine is the same with her “unqiue” interpretation. Honestly if it’s not something that harms my baby I’d let her do it. I need her help and she meant well for the baby too. Some of their old school, no logic ways might work too.

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