Did you and your husband have a "chat" about how to parent and come up with some basic ground rules -- about bedtime routines, how to say no, discipline etc...or did you just play it by ear? I find that my husband and I often have very different perspectives on things like who should our kid have a playdate with, outdoor vs indoor time etc...how did you resolve your differences?

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My fiancé and I talk about how we'll raise our future kids all the time because we realise that we were brought up differently due to different cultures and coming from different countries. For example, we had a heated conversation about disciplining a child when he has done something wrong. In Sweden, it is absolutely illegal to physically discipline your child, so no taps on the hands or even threatening to cane. Not that I'm planning to do all that but I told him that I was brought up in a time where caning was an option if I did something really really bad. Another thing that we discussed was academics, coming from Singapore I'd want my childg to be brought up in an academic environment but he doesn't see it that way, kids in Sweden have more freedom in terms of what they want to do, not necessarily academics. He grew up on the countryside and I grew up in the city. I forsee many more conversations like the ones mentioned before especially when we start our family. We have decided that we will take whatever that is good from each others culture and just "go with it". No point arguing over whose methods are better all the time I feel.

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It is good to hear that your husband is very involved in parenting. I agree that sometimes too many opinions will have disputes between the parents. It's very helpful if both of you sit down and discuss together what are the boundaries that both of you can accept for kids. It is good to list out the rules and adhere to it. When my hubby discipline kids in a way that I do not agree with, I will not confrot him directly in front of the children as this shows no respect. I will discuss with him my inputs and how can we further improve our discipline approach in case of similar things happen again. So far this works very well and we have come to agreement most of the time. I think sometimes our husband needs us to listen to them too, communication is very crucial to reach understanding between each other. Also, I will borrow parenting books to read myself, and highlight some important points for him to note as he is quite busy to read through whole book. I printed out point forms and stick to our wall as reminder. If he has any opinion, we will modify and improve the rules on kids in the house, of course with the consent of each of us.

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We talk it out - as with many other aspects of our marriage! Parenting is a partnership and we both agreed that we need to remain consistent in our approach so there isn't any mixed signals. When the kiddos are around, we will not broach our "synchronisation" in front of them and we will WhatsApp each other even if we are just next to each other. And we have the rule that whenever each of us is disciplining, the other will not step in. So either of us do not have a permanent "black" or "white" faced and the children know we mean it whoever is the one delivering the message. Before the children, we always convey a consistent message and if any differences needs to be sussed out, we do it behind closed doors!

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I think, it should not be about I will take the final call or you. Since, it is about kids, I think, one as a couple should drop their egos and pick up the decision which they think is best for the child. I know, this reads like an ideal situation, but I think this can be met when the couple is having a cordial relationship. How we deal with the kids largely depends on how the couple's relationship is going on. For example, the days, I have fought with my husband, I take all the decisions regarding kids, and then I do not even consider his point of view, which may be better than mine. So, see how the couple's relationship influences the kid's life.

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We never had any rules set for parenting, just took it as it came each day. Of course, there have been differences in our parenting style but to our credit whenever one parent has tried his/her parenting style the other hasn't interfered. We both are "cool" and not paranoid parents. We both have given our kids choices, let them learn, have treated them as individuals. I am the disciplinarian whereas my husband is the softie!

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Yes, we always have a chat on parenting. My husband interested in reading articles & parenting tips. He always guides me. We have 10months old son. we r in learning stage of parenting. Sometimes we have differences too. At that time, we will try to be cool & think twice to resolve the differences. Otherwise, it will have negative impact on kids. Even sometimes we seek advise from our parents or friends.

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Yes, we usually have talks like that. Since we have different views at times, we agreed to try my way and his way and see the results. But basically, I was the one who really sets rule then I just have to talk to him about it and relay the results of what I did. This is for consistency and to avoid confusion of our child.

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I hear him out, but before we got married I had already made it clear that if we have differences of opinion and it's about the kids - I get final call. Have not exercised that card yet, cause we seem to be on the same page for most things.

It's very important that as parents we are united in setting the basic ground rules. Not being one in this would result to confusion and looking at one parent in a negative way (the one who chooses to discipline).

No, we just play ear by ear... Very hard to instill discipline as my husband will give in when my son throws tantrum in public, whereas I can tolerate his screaming, whining and nonsense in public.