Can anyone advice how to tell my pil not to move in with us to the new house in a more respectful way yet doesn't hurt relationship with them? During my confinement my mil did tell my hubby to ask us to stay ourselves as the relationship between me and her strain a little. Then tomorrow we are going to collect the keys to our bto already, suddenly my mil today tell lo "we are going to move to the new house. Are you excited to see the new house?" Then i realise she is going to shift in with us. I wanted to stay away so my hubby can don't depend on his mom too much. And I can have a 1 to 1 coaching session with lo on how to bring him up. As there are too many disruptions when I'm teaching him new things. Lo is 4 months old now. I am a full time working mom. Of cus if they move in with us, I do not have to run here and there to send lo to my in law place. But I just don't want the rs with them to strain. Any advice? TIA!

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It depends on the distance of your new flat from your pil’s flat. If they don’t live too far away from you, no point for them to come and live with you permanently. But I do believe they still prefer to live in their own home, just that they are trying to see how you will react by their words. If they are really serious, maybe you can work something out with your hubby, like inviting to stay at your house only on weekends. Then you have more time for yourself and hubby too. This way, you won’t offend your pil and you don’t need to spend everyday with them too. Jiayou :)

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I think she just teasing you -.- I know a lot of PIL like to do that to test water :P In any event talk to your husband first. Remember when you married, is between both families.. his family is your family and your family is his family. If you married thinking that both of you will spend life together without the interference of the other party family... then maybe you married the wrong person.. Best to tame your expectation. This has nothing to do with your child, in fact is in the welfare of your child to have more people around him/her.

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5y ago

So be it but is an reality. Rather know it before hand than after the fact and complain like a cry baby.

VIP Member

I also stress out last time when my husband said he want her mother to stay with us one day (when she's getting older), but lately when she comes to visit, my husband learned that we cannot stay together with his mother cos we have too many different ways. I told him already that her next visit shouldn't be longer than a week (usually near a month), cos when she's here, my stress level up to 9/10. she already plan to come again on may, but due to corona, luckily gov close the border, so probably have to postponed her visit until next year

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I agree I think she is just teasing you as well. I am sure you PIL are very comfortable where they are now. If they are not joking and really intend to move in with you then this is a conversation you need to have with your husband first and then together with his parents. Open communication works the best.

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Maybe they are teasing or just trying to get a reaction out of you. Dont take it seriously. but if you are still bothered, do kindly talk to your hubby n verify facts..


indeed 相见容易,同住难。。。

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