screaming

Hi.. I’m the mother of a pair of twin 2y7m.. raising them after they know how to play, how to run, how to fight is really test my impatience.. when they have good mood, they will behave, we will happy and smile.. but when they’re not behave and we’re tired of that, it’s can make us stressed.. sometimes I do that too.. I shouted and beat them.. they will scared and cry.. they follow what I want.. but what I can say is, they do that because they just scared of us.. not because they respect.. my husband always remind me to relax, calm down.. when god gave kids, that’s mean he knows that we deserve and we can do it.. after I mad at them, they will avoid me, go to my husband.. it’s really make me panic.. I don’t want them to be psychotic.. every day they must study and must! I’m too strict with them.. I can see that they always stress with me but happy with thier father.. my husband asked me to change my attitude.. need to be more relax, give and take to them.. “what do u expect from them if they just 2y7m? U want them to be matured like u? Behave and make up every single inch of this house? U expect them to eat properly like u when they have friend (twin/subling) to play and laugh? U want them to be smart kids by knows all the abc but they don’t know how to socialise, how to respect? If u want them to respect u, u need to respect them first.. give some chance.. give time , if they don’t want to listen, take a deep breath a think.. change your skill.. use all of your skills as a mother.. if they don’t want to shower, change your skill.. ask them to shower u.. shower together with them.. if they don’t want to eat properly, ask them to feed u, eat together.. if they don’t want to study, u the who should start first.. read your own book!” - my husband

We tend to get very easily irritated when we are tired, especially with lil kids. Cz in their mind, it's playtime EVERYTIME. But I hope we tryta tone down and be extra patient bcz i dont think you want your child to grow up to be screamed at all the time. Im sure it will hurt her lil heart and she'll hold grudges. Try to reason with her insteadof screaming. This is the time whr children will remember for the restof their life. Their childhood. Maybe put in mind that you wanna respect your lil one's heart. And she will learn that from you too, her Awesome mum that she looks up to❤️ a reminder for me too. Or mayybeee.. You cn try singing it out instead! Like she will look at you in confusion and you two will probably laugh it out. Haha! I will try it on my kid!!

Take it easy mummy.. though im not a single mum, but i feel like one too. Cause husband most of the time not helping at all, if not wont be at home at all. It gets frustrating with lack of sleep and babies crying at the same time. I used to scold my son alot too, but i realised scolding him wouldnt make any difference cause he doesn't understand much when we scream. He might have a thought of "mummy doesnt love me" hence will cry even more. In my opinion, just talk to her nicely, tell her this and that cannot, mummy is tired so dont do all these to make mummy angry okay? After awhile they will learn how to control their anger. All the best mummy 👍🏻

I don’t scream at her but I tend to distract her a lot. Like if she goes wailing she doesn’t want to eat diner, I pick her up and tell her we are going to go watch the stars for a bit and then I start to sing and rock her and when she’s calmed down a little I tell her that the stars have names and I name them all of her friends and then I slowly start to feed her all the while telling her stories about her friends and the stars. It’s tiring a.f but seems to work. I was raised in a screaming household and I hated it as a child, so I am trying to avoid that for my kid :) Being a mum is not easy. Hang in there

Yes I think most of us do that:( Though that does not mean it's the right thing to do, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself either. we are all humans and it takes a lot of hard work to deal with such matters. I try and remind myself that yelling at kids do nothing to make us or the child feel better and it's been proven that kids who get yelled at often have low self esteem. Remember we only want the best for our child so always remind ourselves that before screaming at your child. Good luck!

Understand what you’re going thru. The same happened to me too and I’m also a single mum. Sometimes I get so frustrated that I cried. I try to tell myself to be more patient but I just can’t help it and the worse thing is I found out this affects her as well and she has learned to scream like me too! I’m now trying hard to talk to her when I’m calm and we promise not to scream at each other. This is working slightly but still a long way to go.

You are too stressed out. Take some time to understand your daughter, put yourself in her shoe. Understand why she behaves that way. Bring her out; shopping, swimming, or visit parks etc. Do stuffs that creates beautiful memories to you and your daughter. You’re a good mum, and i know you are doing your very best. If possible, talk to someone. That someone doesnt have to give you advise. You just need a listening ears.

Self care. Take care of your needs before you take care of hers. The reason why you scream at her is possibly because you're feeling worked up at the moment. When you feel anger welling up, taking a deep breath helps prevent you from reacting. If you couldn't help yelling, apologise to your child later when you're feeling better. This is also a work-in-progress for me. Big hugs, Mama!

Screaming will not solve anything and this only affects your toddler negatively. Toddlers are not wired to specially make you angry. They are exploring their world and testing boundaries. Leave your tiredness out of the door when dealing with your toddler. She learns from your actions

Recommended read: No-Drama Discipline. I got from Amazon Prime Now. https://www.amazon.com/No-Drama-Discipline-Whole-Brain-Nurture-Developing/dp/034554806X Helps to cultivate mindset. Can read during journey to & from work. I'm single parent too.