Confession: I am a dl sahm mum, sometimes I am so tired that i tend to lose my temper alittle on my baby at times :( I feel so lousy and bad and guilty thereafter. What should i do? It is really horrible losing temper at such an innocent being. I cant rest because there is no one to take over my motherly duties and I have to cover all my other chores when my baby is asleep. Cant afford a maid or part time cleaner as I am not working currently. Oh my, I really feel bad. I am a lousy mother. :(
I understand how you feel. I am a DL SAHM with 3 young ones, eldest being almost 4.5yo. I feel tired all the time too, as I don't ever get a break away from them or rest and I have been the one handling the kids at night all alone. Its worst when all 3 are sick and I have sleepless nights. I get frustrated cos I can't cook and clean as well as before. I feel that a supportive husband is important. My husband used to cook for us dinner on weekdays after work, he would also cook extra for our lunch the next day. On weekends, he cooks breakfast and sometimes dinner too while I cook lunch or he would bring us out for lunch and/or dinner. He helped to at least wash all the dishes too. But since he changed his job, he only cooks dinner when I am sick or once a month or fortnighly as he see me tired. He cooks weekend breakfast once in a blue moon. & he stopped helping me to wash the dishes so my sink is always full all the time. I try not to complain so much as I know his work is tiring too but I see myself as unproductive. My sink is always full, I take almost a week to finish hanging all the laundry (what with the rainy weather), I can't cook meals on time, house is always in a mess, I can't find peaceful time to fold the clothes and arrange them nicely in the wardrobe without the baby messing it up, I can't spring clean too. I mop my floor once a month or two, I wash my toilet once a week. If only husband able to share a little bit of the load at home, I would be more than grateful.Read more
It's good you acknowledge that and know that you will lose your temper. It's not easy looking after baby and if stay at home it's even more hard work and feel so alone. Whenever you start to feel the frustration, remind yourself to take a step back. Put baby in a safe place and go do something else first like wash a plate to let yourself calm down first. Don't stay cooped up at home also! It's not healthy mentally! Go out with baby and meet friends, get help when needed, and get some sleep. For me I realise when I don't get enough sleep, I get psycho and lose my temper easily. -_- Hang in there!Read more
I feel like losing my temper on baby sometimes too. I am a ftwm and when I come home from work, I take over baby care duties. Sometimes I am so exhausted and when baby won't latch, or keeps crying, I feel so tempted to just lose my temper. So what you are feeling is very very Normal. We are human after all. But that said, we should not be doing this. Our little ones are innocent. When I am massively stressed, I just remind myself over and over again that I chose this - I chose to have her. She didn't have a choice in this. She didn't choose to be born. So how can I lose my temper on her?Read more
It is common to feel this way! Talk to other mothers, arrange some playdates, talk to your partner to get him to help look after your baby for a couple of hours for some me-time. You are only human and definitely not a lousy mother. One of my friends would scream into her pillow to vent out her frustrations when she feels like she is on the brink of breaking down. Take care mummy! I hope you are feeling better these days! *hugz*Read more
Hugs ! I used to be an EP sahm and gave up EP after feeling so tired everyday. Nw it's either I warm up fbm (whatever I have left in the freezer) or give fm. sometimes we have to give up certain things in order to maintain our sanity. Always rmb, Baby doesn't know how to talk yet and the only way to 'talk' is thru crying. try to decode the cries and see what she wants.Read more
U are not alone. I just delivered my #2 recently and with #1 together, it is just too annoying at times! House chores can wait, do it when u are not so tired. Step out of the house does help, I tried to bring baby out whenever I can, coping ourselves at home just make us so frustrated. Cheer up and enjoy every moment with the baby:)Read more
Please don't feel bad. No mother is exempt from feeling bad after losing their temper but there is always a way to avoid it. Get some help from family and close friends so they can take care of baby even for a few hours while you get some rest. Fatigue, lack of rest and alone time are the usual culprit of losing your temper.Read more
personally, i think sahm is a very hard work. you are on 24/7 duty for your baby. try talking to your spouse, you need your "me" time as well. relax and do something you like. you are not a lousy mother..just a tired one.
you can try having online jobs to divert your focus from time to time so you wont feel burn out when taking care of your little one:) there is an fb group called wahmderful, and upwork.
I have been through a similar situation as you. Try to join some mom support group. It helps greatly having some other moms to share your problems with.