How to Balance Your Life as a Working Mom
Hello working moms! 👋 As a working mom myself, I understand how challenging it can be to find balance between work and family. That's why I'm excited to invite you to an empowering Q&A session where we'll discuss practical tips and strategies to help you manage your time effectively and reduce stress. Join me, Ms Lilian Ong, Director and Registered Counsellor of Wellness Journey Pte Ltd., for an insightful and inspiring discussion. 📲 Don't forget to leave your questions in the comments section - I can't wait to answer them during the expert session. See you there! 👩💼👩👦👦💡🗣️
How do women navigate motherhood while keeping themselves well in Singapore? Join us at 7pm on June 30, as we discuss “Navigating Motherhood with Balance and Resilience” at the inaugural Urban Women Wellness Day! This 60 min workshop is specially curated for mothers, mothers-to-be and their partners. Facilitators Summer Song and Lilian Ong will bring you through authentic conversations around the ups and downs of becoming a mother. We will share strategies on how to cope with difficult emotions, enabling you to achieve balance and build resilience, so you and your family can thrive in life. https://www.wellnessfest.sg/programmes/Mother's-Mental-Health-Matters/ #parenthood #motherhood #mothers #parentevents #parentwellness #mothertobe #singaporewellnessfestival #resilientparents
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Here are the common themes I see among the questions, and general tips for managing the issues: #mom_guilt (about work piling up when you're away, or not spending enough time with your children) TIP - be compassionate/kind to yourself, adjust expectations, do what you can for now, good enough for now, quality time. #tired, #overwhelmed or even #burned_out TIP - delegate, let go, prioritize self-care, reach out for support, one thing at a time #work_life_balance, #boundaries, #work_culture TIP - clarify your values, prioritize attention and energy on what matters most to you, ongoing communication, be assertive, build a supportive work culture which benefits everyone
Read moreI’m a full time mum, sometime I feel like want to go back to work but if I put my baby to childcare I really can’t manage the time because my work a little far so I need to get out from home before 6:30am same time with my husband and we do come back home or can say arrive at train station after 6pm. I do have parents in law, but father in law still working and mother in law helping pick up my sister in law baby from childcare. I’m feel sorry to ask for help to take care of my baby because I know take care of 2 baby not easy (my son 1 year and my sister in law baby 9 months). What should I do for balance my time if I’m go back to work?
Read moreAs a working mum, I tried to cook dinner at least 3 times a wk for my 4 year old, but sometimes end up getting tired over washing of dishes, yet still has to teach him weekly spelling and starting to see my child as a burden and the only time I look forward to is when he is asleep for me to clear work or just having me time. How do I overcome the feeling of seeing my child as a burden and to want to spend quality time with him? The routine of preparing his dinner, teaching him spelling weekly becomes such a routine I feel that’s it my “work” after office hours and by the time I can have me time is aft 10 or 11 as he sleeps late.
Read moreI could never do all that and keep myself sane. 😅 see if you can delegate or outsource some of these things, eg. get part time cleaning help, clearly define who does what at home, order tingkat meals or buy takeaway food. Also manage your expectations, are you expecting too much of yourself? sometimes we fall into the trap of doing things according to what society expect but ultimately we have to ask what is important to myself, what resources do I have, what can I manage for now? At 4yr old, how important is the spelling? if you are too tired and stressed, it will show in your tone of voice and he will not respond well, so the whole process of learning spelling becomes a pain for both of you. Is it worth it?
Want to return to work after 2 months, but infant care around my area is all full and not available for ar least 2 years later, and my schedule is partially wfh, so it's not useful to find near my office also. Husband don't want a helper, or any stranger in our house, and I think it would be hard to take care of baby while I WFH, and what on the days I need to go to office for meetings? I'm afraid I, like other mothers, will have to give up my work to be SAHM, or quit my current job due to the pressure... I don't like the idea of being a SAHM and fully depend financially on my husband. What should I do?
Read morehi dear mommy, this AskTheExpert session is over but I'll respond anyway. the infant care places are really not enough in some areas, I keep hearing cases of no vacancies. It's a tricky situation to be in. Just leave your name in the waiting list anyway. Sometimes they unexpectedly have people changing their mind so there might be a small chance. Make a joint decision with your husband, communicate openly and let him know your concerns. If you have considered all options like parents, in-laws and nannies, nothing feasible, then you might really have to be SAHM first. Plan for 6 months or 1 yr then review and see how it's going. It can be a big adjustment to become a SAHM, but with the right support and coping strategies you can do it! Reach out to me privately if you would like more specific guidance.
Wow, a BIG salute to all of us working moms! Seeing all the questions here, shows how much you want to do your best, both at work and at home. I hope my answers have given you some ideas on how to cope better. Do note that in such a Q&A session the replies I give is based on limited info I have about your personal situation. For more targeted support, especially if you are already struggling to cope, it would be best to seek one-to-one counselling support. Thank you for your participation in this forum chat!
Read moreIve been a work at home mom for a year. I cant seem to balance time for my 1 yr old and time for other side hustles. I have a day job but also is trying to pursue my passion for writing, at the same time looking for side hustles related to it. But most nights I when my son sleeps late, i would end up being asleep too. I can't put him to sleep early so I dont know how to have time for my side gigs at night. How do I build a routine so I can balance time for work and for my baby?
Read moreAt 1yr old, his needs can still be quite intense and unpredictable at times. Sounds like you're pushing yourself very hard! It's good to keep your interest going as that helps you maintain your personal identity and experience positive emotions when you immerse yourself in the process. Try to manage your expectations though, as the benefits may be overshadowed by the pressure you feel when it becomes a KPI and have to be accountable to someone else.
I feel there should be a babysitters agency or something like this that despatch to one’s home for chores. On adhoc basis at the area that you’re staying. Cos honestly I am finding a part-time babysitter that could take care of my baby, so abit of marinating of food (so when the mommy comes back, can prepare dinner) or do laundry. Or even mopping house is also helping bcos we moms don’t have time to do most of the times. These simple chores can really help.
Read morethere are such services! saw in the news recently check out https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/part-time-home-cleaning-scheme-domestic-services-child-elder-care-mom-3345251
hello👋 I'm a working mother and have one kid on an Autism Spectrum, daily routine is very hard. I couldn't have time for myself and for my husband. Were busy focusing right now on our child's progress. It is very very hard. I know not everyone can understand my end. Any encouragement for an Autism parent?
Read moreyes, parenting children with special needs is even more challenging! lots of self compassion, support each other, find support groups in ASD resource centres. Learn from special needs therapists how to understand your child's world and adapt your parenting expectations and strategies. Over time, your child will learn through your patient guidance. Of course, in order to be patient and implement the strategies well, you need to take care of your own wellbeing. That's why it's important to learn to manage your own inputs (self-care, positivity, support) and outputs (caregiving duties, work, anything adding pressure/stress or draining you of energy).
Some mothers are able to have successful careers. How are they able to achieve that? I feel like I have little energy left in a day after caring for my baby. I would be very thankful if I could have a good night's sleep, not even going to think about achieving great things at work.
Everyone has different circumstances (energy and health, support system, child's temperament and needs etc), so no point comparing. Once you drop the comparison and learn to accept what it is for now, some of the stress feelings will be lifted. Focus on what matters to you right now. If it's just surviving the day without a breakdown, take that as a win in itself. One day at a time, one week at a time. It does get better as your child grows older, we just can't rush it. meanwhile, do what you can to take care of yourself in whatever small pockets of time you have.
Registered Counsellor specialising in parenthood transition, parent-child relationships. Mother of 1