10 Replies
Here’s my personal take. I feel that it very much depends on the circumstances of each family. The best case scenario is definitely to have the best of both worlds. Reasonable working hours and weekends to balance work and family. While I do not think anyone would think less of any parent who needs to put in the hours to put bread on the table, it is best if both parents could participate in the growing up of their children. The little ones grow up quickly. Some things in life, you missed it means there’s no turning back time to relive it. If some lifestyle changes could be made such that it will allow both parents more time with their children, that would probably be the best. Having said all these, sometimes, it is inevitable that the hours are needed to simply “scrap by” (given the high cost of living and everything). I would say, don’t be too hard on yourself. Spend as much time as you could with your children. Explain to them as they grow up. They would understand. And the answer to your question.. in my opinion, no, it definitely does not make you a lesser dad. :)
Well if you look at the Family law... I would say work less and spend more time with your kids. If you spend your time working and for some reason the marriage failed.. 1. If your wife is not working.. You might have to pay alimony to to maintain her current life style. 2. Since your spend most of your time working.. You have less contact with your kid.. Unlikely you will get care and control or shared care and control... most likely only access.. 3. You have to maintain your current child lifestyle so that your kid get the full measure of child support. Really. Lose lose situation... You make hope that your wife will have mercy on you if marriage fail for whatsoever reasons.. But we live long enough to know that living by one's mercy is a terrible idea. So work less and spend time with kids.. The reward is immerse. Encourage your wife to work so she understands your challengers too.
Hi there, growing up, my father worked all time, traveled alot and pretty much missed out on lots of my childhood milestones. In fact, this continued till I was in university and only stopped when he retired. Not once did my siblings and I think any lesser of my father. In fact, my mom was a working mom all the way and we became primary school latch-key kids after my grandma passed. Again, not once did we blame our parents or resent them for working to secure our future. Don't be too hard on yourself. If you are working long hours or even if you're not, so long as you are sincere about everything, your kids will grow up appreciating all your efforts.
I will not work long hrs and will avoid wrking on weekends. Women think differently from men. Most women will rather spend more time wif kids n wrk lesser hrs but many men thinks tat their responsibilty is to wrk and earn as much as possible to provide for the family and hv a better life. It all depends on ur family needs. There is no right or wrong. Sit down and discuss with ur wife and see wad she thinks. There is nothing perfect in tiz world. Even if u earn lesser, u r still a gd dad cos u r willing to spend more time wif ur kids. I applaud you for this👍🏻. If she doesn't mind u earning lesser and ur finances r manageable, go ahead!
Spend more time with child and adjust accordingly as i got to choose my own working time and hours . But as for guy usually they work a longer hour in order to support the family but of course during weekends like sunday and public holidays is a big NONO . but not to worries you are not bad , as long as you make an effort to spend some time with your kid they will definitely understand. Everybody does not have enough time and money is always not enough to earn in such society.
Of course i would rather spend more time and earn less. When i die I can't bring the money with me. Moreover what's money, it can be earned and i can never go back in time. There will be a stage when the child will not want and need us anymore.
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If you have to work longer and more to give your child a better life, i would say go ahead. Don't let it affect you. Your child will thank you after that for all the hard work you have done for them
by working long hours doesnt mean to secure job, it might be showing iefficiency to the work... i think abt 45-50 hours a week n the rest spend with children/family would be ideal.
spend more time with my kids and earn lesser. and i will adjust my lifestyle accordingly.