Honestly, it's really not a big deal. We have to recognise that there are attractive people around and being humans we are wired to look. Expecting your partner to have eyes only for you is naive and an over-expectation. Women drool over K-Pop singers as well but just don't talk as freely with friends. Most men & women don't have any ability to pursue these attractions. If we do, then it calls for your disappointment. The best way around this is to talk to him. Show him people you find attractive too. Share the experience in recognising good looking people together. Get his opinion on attractive men and women. (also, if he finds a woman attractive that does not look like you, it doesn't make you any less attractive. Everyone is attractive in different ways) Also, you really should not be going through his texts with his friends. If you find something, you'd be upset. If you don't find anything, you may think he's deleted his chats. Nothing good can come out of it.
Hi thanks for sharing. I’m someone of low self esteem/ insecure as well so can totally uds how you’re feeling. At the start of our rls, it was difficult for both parties because I never agree with such catcalling/ superficial discussions of other women. Like what you wanna do sia with all these “dirty” thinkings. And pornography is a huge taboo for me. I got even more paranoid when he and friends visited nightclubs FML. Just so upsetting. We communicated a lot and tried our best to understand our diff emotions towards diff issues. It took us years to come to where we are now. And yes like your husband, I can anytime use his phone or computer and passwords to all things. I’m thankful for his efforts for easing my insecurities like no more pubs or clubs or unnecessary looking and “trash talking” on other strangers. Now with this long CB, I find it a great opportunity for us to bond tgt and have more open communication with one another.
Good for you! I hope it stays this way for you especially given we belonged to the slightly over thinking and lower self esteem group. The kind of thoughts that run through every other day is like causing so much unneccesary stress. Like why can't it be a auto and mutual thing without us having to even set the rules even in the first place.
I think it is very disrespectful of your husband towards you because he is the one who texted his friends abt the girl he jz saw. Whethr you found out or not, it is disrespectful. He's sorry cz he got caught. That's all. But jz let him know how you feel. No need to fight. Of course everyone is attractive in their own ways, but you dont have to talk aboutit to your friends and lead it to something over. Married ppl should learn to if accidentally saw, just drop it after. Forget abt it righ away. Because they have someone better, and that is their spouse. That is loyalty, that is respect. Your husband better dont repeat that. Forgive once, not twice.
Yes he's sorry cos he got caught. That's so true! And yes respect is the key word. It should be done without us having to set the rules in the first place. It's just sad that people overlooked this.
If he let's you see hp.. why not? I mean.. he is not guilty so he knows what he can do and cant.. let him know you dun like it. He wont do it again I guess
Hmmmm... do you not trust him? Have he done something wrong that he is not trustworthy? You're pregnant he should be more sensitive but pregnancy do also cause mental stress hence doubt
At least he's honest with you. I think all guys talk about girls so unavoidable. As long as he doesn't cheat
Admitting that he's an idiot. If it happens again, then it's really an issue
If he nv go up to that chiobu and get her number then its still ok ba.
Totally agree with Anonymous. He does have d intention. It is not "oh it's still ok, bullshit." It is NOT OK. This is only one lady. How many others have he had the eyes for. And wife is pregnant now and he cannot wait???! What F Nonsense is that. Betrayer. I hope he really stop his nonsense.
Anonymous