Husband's Text With Friends

What's your opinion on your husband texting his friends about some random strangers he saw on the street? (when you're pregnant and stuck at home) with descriptions like 'saw a solid chiobu wearing sleeveless tank top and tight pants' and when the friend commented that 'can see but can't touch', your husband agrees. Below is the screenshot of the conversation. Orange is the husband. The rest are 2 of his frens. Update: His replies were expected. Says it's casual thrash talk n this is the way the talk. It's been rough 2 days of grilling him. Now he admits he is an idiot for typing this. Should I still trust him? I usually don't check his phone. It's due to a few reasons this time that I did and i didn't regret it a single bit. If he has nothing to hide. He didnt get angry n defensive at all and allows me to look at his phone every now and then. Perhaps I don't like to live in a delusional state and believe my life is perfect and fairytale like. I'm towards the belief that husbands and wives should be opened about everything. Not about no trust. Especially the divorce and number of cheating spouses rate is so high now.

Anonymous

Preggers

7 Replies

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Oh trust me, there’s a lot more from where that came from. It’s just boys being boys. They want to have a place to joke around with, someone with the same head as them as much as we want someone with the same head as us. Women are more emotional and we don’t talk much about men after we are married especially but men, men they still do. They are just processed that way. Perhaps talk to him but most likely he will just brush you off. Well at least he knows you’re aware of the way he msgs. For me, I don’t check my husband’s phone at all. I don’t want to know anything. I will just assume everything is alright until my instincts tell me otherwise. Most importantly, if you’re checking his phone, most likely you’re going to have trust issues. Or already having trust issues. Don’t go there.

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Anonymous

Preggers

4y ago

I usually don't check his phone. It's due to a few reasons this time. Anw I've updated the post with the msg screenshot.

not only is he disrespectful towards you, but also to women. men tend to sexualise women just because they think they have the rights to do so because women "dressed a certain way". why the need to say can see but cannot touch? what if other men speaks that way of you or his friends' wives? they obviously wouldn't like it. tell him to imagine someone saying that about his daughter if he has one. this is a huge red flag for me. i wouldn't wanna be with someone who sexualises women and share it with his friends and they all get together and talk about they can see but cannot touch. disrespectful to the wife, the marriage, the family and women. you can adore someone's physical looks but you don't have to share it around like a bunch of hungry for sex douches.

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Anonymous

Preggers

4y ago

Thank you 😀 appreciate your replies

My opinion - what a disrespectful fool that I married, even in times of folly. Am I too sensitive? Doubt so, respect goes both ways. All I'll ask him is - I'll do exactly the same with my gfs. If you're OK with the idea, I'll be accepting of your banter with your mates. If not, then stop.

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