you sound totally burn out. I agree with the others. seek help. talk to your husband, and even in laws to see if they can help. tell them about your situation, that you need a break. I'm sure they will understand and help. even a few hours of me-time (go for a spa, hair salon, go catch a movie, go shopping) will do wonders. sometimes, we just need to be willing to ask for help. hope you get over this soon! :)
Dear mum, I understand your situation. I would advise to take the help of your family members because family will really provide the love and care better than the helper. Also, I think it is better if you can talk to your husband again about this? May be explain the reasons why would you like an helper and how would it help you and the family :)
A happy mommy equals a happy family. I understand your frustration specially stuck in a vicious cycle taking care of two active kids and housework. You need to have a sit down with your husband and discuss all the issues you are experiencing and plan some action points to address your unhappiness.
I suggest you to find a job, send your girl and baby to full time day care, maybe that will lessen your stress, only at night time you have to handle the kids, maybe u will more appreciate your time with them after that.
If you don't want maid, Get your in laws, your husband, and your parents to help you out sometimes so that you can have a break.. When you are too tired and angry, just get out for a breather, like to the supermarket.
thank you sis
Pham Thao