15 Replies
You are not too sensitive. Your in laws are too much. You need time to rest and recover. How to recover and rest when you only slept for 2 hours a day? What do they want you to do? Chores? This is crazy. Everyone has a different rate of recovery and how could they expect you to recover in 3 days? I took close to 6 weeks to recover after giving birth. It was similar to your situation. I can’t even walk or sit properly for 6 weeks due to the stitches. I also couldn’t sleep well as I was latching my baby on demand. My physical and mental state were in a bad shape but I had a confinement lady and my own mum and sister to seek support from. Seek help now rather than break down. Your baby needs the best version of you! Hang in there! Ask your husband to help out or talk to his parents. Don’t let them bully you. Can you ask your own parents to help you out or get a confinement lady?
My baby is already 2.5 months and i still struggle at times. There are good and bad times. Sometimes, i can tear while rocking my baby to sleep because i feel that i am not good enough to be his mum. When my baby cries, i might not know what he wants. My mil also did not render much help. She only came to play with baby once in a while. Never ask how we are coping. She used to say she will take care of him when we go back to work but then now she backed up last min leaving us to find alternative plans. Please seek your parents help. I regretted not going to them earlier. My parents came to help me after seeing how i am struggling. I used to be tough but i think hormonal changes is making me emotional. I keep telling myself to think positive and hopefully things will improve.
You are not being sensitive. It is them who are insensitive annoying twats. 3 days?? Are you kidding me? I couldn't walk without extreme pain for more than a week. If they last time gave birth and can ride bicycle the nxt day then that's their grandmother's problem. Maybe try to be sarcastic with them "nicely." For your husband, you really need to talk to him heart to heart. Tell him how good things were when you both jz got married and that you need him to build you up back, to be in this, together, like a team. Together, always. In good or bad times. All the very best. You got this!
R u staying together? If yes, talk to your hub and ask him to talk to his parents... u need a lot of emotional support especially from your hub. Gone are the days where women can just pop and pop like no body biz. If not staying together, tell your hub dont let them come so often as u need rest. I was super whiny to my hub throughout my preg and after labour coz I was super pampered. I don't stay with in laws and I limit their visiting. I told my hub they can only come only when hes around and for a short while coz we need to rest. U just have to stand firm ....
I also took very long to recover from my birth and I stay with pil to.. they really comments a lot and I also very stressful during that period.. Now, I will just express my views to them even maybe they will feel I not respect them else I'll depression 😔 my husband always tell me to ignore them but sometimes they keeps on nagging and make me frustrated.. if u can ignore then just ignore else have to tell ur hubby to help, if really no choice then speak up..
Stay strong. I had the same thing too. My mum was the oke who volunteered to help me during confinement but she ended up complaining about how she have to do all the housework and “waking up in the middle of the nights”. She even left me all alone during most of the days when my husband is not around. Ended up having to seek help from someone else that is not blood related to me. Try to seek help from anyone. You can do it mummy!
They forgotten everybody is different. Ignore them, let them say whatever they want since they are your in-law. They will never know how you feel as is your body not theirs. Sometimes you have to be thick-skinned even though you are not acting physically weak or in pain. Share your feelings to your husband and don't keep it to yourself.
When I had #1, there was no nanny because my mom volunteered to help. She was too enthusiastic cause it was her first grandchild. And guess what, she mia after 3 days. I had to do everything myself and was in immense stress. I even had shingles at 4mpp due to stress. Please try to get some help
Hugs. A lot of people, esp in laws, will comment and have lots of opinions with no help rendered. You just have to be mentally strong and always have this thought, you can only do it on your own, no one will help you. It's a learning curve all new parents will have to go through.
Lol.. 3 days? My in law told my husband old time women can farm straight away after give birth. No need rest no need confinement.. Ignore them.. I took three weeks to heal my wound (only). So don't stress yourself for what she said.